horned guardian
by winsion plato
Summary: A new student has arrived at the church. She is strange, and new, and for some reason Castor cannot help but dislike her. But as she demonstrates her inner and outer strength, Castor is roped into her life and learns of her mysterious past... Finally, Castor admits that he has fallen for her... but is there anyway he can be honest about his own past?
1. Chapter 1 horned

**So, this is 07 ghost with a spin, and it's going to be kind of long, and if you don't like it, well, I write it based on a freaky dream I had, so it doesn't matter.**

**- It is mostly categorized as romance, but it's also got a few other things, action and drama, might not be PG sometimes, so be warned about later chapters when I write them. **

**-I don't own any of the characters out of a manga or anime, or anything that is related to it, etc, etc;**

*** AURAS **- also, you'll read about 'auras', sorry i didn't explain this before! Auras are the life forces around people, only a handful of people can see them (mostly the Bishops in the story), if you do a Google search, you'll find some pretty cool stuff;** _red = power; yellow is inspiration/ intelligence; green = balance; blue = loving/caring; White = raw energy, able to form and change, it is purity _**- i choose to use the optimistic characteristics, you'll defiantly find websites that are different from mine, but that's how ill relate to them in the story :)

**CHAPTER 1**

Castor and Frau were standing near the front of the church, looking out to the white marble bridge that connected their school to the rest of the outside world. Currently, there were hundreds of first years making their nervous way along it, coming to the place where their future would be decided.

"Do you think any of these guys will even make it to the exam?" Castor asked while searching the new student's auras for anything that would hint at greatness.

Bishop Frau turned towards him and laughed, "You never thought I would, and here we are."

They both turned to continue watching the students, their white robes billowing in the wind as Frau adjusted his hat. The auras were the usual hues: most were violet or brown, but there were still reds, yellows, blues and greens weaved throughout the boys.

Looking closer, Castor was able to make out a few with dark rings around the edges of some, but this was not unusual, as those who knew pain sometimes chose paths that enabled them to protect others from similar experiences. He knew from personal experience that the ones that made it to the exam would have a fully healed aura (without a hint of black), and make excellent bishops.

There were a few muddy auras, where the colour was hued with brown; Castors also knew from experience that these students would not last long as bishop-apprentices.

But there was one colour he had never seen in a new arrival, or in fact, in his entire life. As Frau and he watched the stream of students go by, each with their own dreams and destiny's, there was one student with a _white aura_! Just one. It shone, and seemed to brighten the auras closest to it. A blue aura walked beside it, and as soon as it was close, the intensity of the blue flared, and then faded as it got farther away from the white.

Castor glanced at Frau, but the other bishop had turned his head and was squinting at a group of boys off to his left. Castor turned back and continued to watch as the white blaze crossed the bridge, and stood on the other side, seemingly waiting for something. He was unable to see their face, or features, but that didn't matter, a _white_ aura? He had read of these, of course, but the descriptions were always different, and too rare to analyze thoroughly.

Castor turned towards Frau again, ready to direct his attention towards this anomaly, but he was surprised to see that frau had turned around, and was already smiling in the direction of the glowing form.

"Frau….?" Castor asked uncertainly

"Shh. This is the student we've been waiting for." And he lifted his hand and waved energetically towards the form with a huge grin on his face.

And it was true; Frau had talked of a prospective student for over 2 months now. Frau had even filled out his application forms since, he said, the student didn't believe he would get accepted, and that it would be a waste of time. But Frau hadn't believed this.

So Frau had sent the information in, and the student had immediately been accepted based on Frau's recommendation. But a white aura? It could be dangerous having a student where they couldn't easily tell its emotions, or abilities.

The student had seen Frau`s motion, and was moving towards them; Castor still couldn't make out the features, the suns beam seemed to be blinding his view on purpose.

As it picked its way through the blue waterways that streaked throughout the courtyard, Castor squinted towards the figure; there was something different about the way it walked compared to the boys behind it. Almost like a dancer, that's what it was. Graceful, no wasted movement, every step precise and fluid, catlike and beautiful.

Castor turned towards Frau,

'He wouldn't,' thought Castor. 'There's no way…'

But Frau must have seen something in Castors eyes, and turned towards him like a child discovering how a new toy worked,

"Ahh, you've figured it out have you?" He put his fingers together, and smiled with perfect white teeth showing.

"Frau," was all Castor was able to croak out, and at that moment, the figure had reached them. Shorter than them, almost 5'6, it was wearing a green traveling cloak, with its hood just over the crown of hair, far enough back to see the angular cheek bones, unblemished pale skin, and the deep brown iris' ringed with dark gold under arched eyebrows. Smiling, the figure looked up at the bishops,

"Frau, I really didn't know if I'd see you again, and Bishop," turning to face Castor, "it is a pleasure to meet you under these circumstances. My name is Sarah, and I hope to complete the bishop training while living here!"


	2. Chapter 2 chasing

So heres the next chapter, it was a really weird feeling when I realized people were reading this… I seriously hope you enjoy it,

**CHAPTER 2**

Castor and Frau were walking down the large corridor on their way to the welcoming ceremony; Castor trying to keep up with Frau as he sped up.

"I don't understand you Frau, how could you give her hope that she will be able to make it as a Bishop?"

"Castor! I would have never taken you for a sexist, Lazette would be heartbroken!" Frau said with a small smile as he looked at the other Bishop from the corner of his eye.

Castor had small frown lines around his mouth, "you know that's not true, it is even difficult for men to become Bishops, and it has been proven that female brains are just not wired to this type of work as men are! And you allow in a fragile nymph, who looks like she will fall in a light breeze? This is a military job, if you needed to choose a woman, at least pick one with substance!"

"She is here because I think she should be. Sarah is training with you first thing in the morning, right?" Frau said, moving along.

"Yes, and I hope you don't expect me to go easy on her, this is not elementary school, nor am I a babysitter."

Frau laughed at that, "I don't think you have to worry about that, she is very skilled at using Zaiphon, she will be a surprise, I promise you."

But Castor wasn't so sure; the girl he had met today was like a character out of a western theme, all smiles and manners. Everything about her was perfect, and it didn't look like she had ever had to sweat in her entire life. He wondered what Frau was playing at; being a Bishop wasn't about just using Zaiphon, you had to be strong physically and mentally, compassionate beyond the limits of normal people. Even though the girl today seemed nice, he doubted whether she could forgive the worst type of people in order to heal them.

* * *

4:00am. Sarah was waiting out in the completely deserted courtyard in front of a giant clock tower, the darkness was at its height, and the world was still distorted. Why did she have to be out here? She had asked other first-years, and none of them had training before noon!

As she was waiting, she thought back to the ceremony last night. She had known it would be hard being the only female in the school, but she hadn't realized that the fact she was living on the church grounds was also cause for incredulity. It had quickly become obvious she was more than just singled out. People probably thought I was training to be a nun of something, she thought.

During the ceremony, all of the applicant's names were called out. Dead silence had occurred as soon as she stood up, and whispers followed her wherever she went. Even after the ceremony, when the rest of the students went back across the bridge and into town to live with families, they seemed to think she was too poor, or that the church was taking pity on her; one boy had suggested that she was really cleaning the floors at night to get extra money.

In the courtyard, she shrugged her shoulders, and tried to not think about the people she had to deal with for the next few years.

* * *

Castor glanced around the corner of the clock tower, this girl seemed to be completely unaware of her surroundings, or that he was lurking in the shadows so close to her. He saw her shrug her shoulders and wondered if she was cold,

`she won't be in a few minutes,` he thought as he slide from his hiding place on silent feet, and reached towards her arm, `only the first training, and she's already let her guard down, this is exactly why…` but exactly why never escaped his mouth.

Sarah whirled around in a flurry of cloth and hair; Castors arm was behind his back, and at the same time Sarah tried to kick his legs out from under him. But he was still a Bishop, and he was still Castor; even Frau had difficulty pinning him. Sarah easily dodged his arm as he tried to hit her neck, jumping back and landing in a delicate crouch close to the ground. They both stared at each other for a minute, until Castor said,

"You knew I was there."

Sarah knew this was not a question, so she did not reply; Castor was reeling inside, where had the girl gone from yesterday? The girl, no: the _warrior_, in front of him was still in a defensive position, muscles taunt for the slightest provocation. He looked at her eyes, they were alive with light and energy, the centre of her aura closest to her heart was fused with indigo, but was quickly being overpowered by the white.

What. The. Fuck! "Where did Frau say you two had met?" He asked cautiously.

"I'm sure he didn't," was her cold reply. They continued to stare at each other, Castor trying to determine who this girl was, all the while with the cold sensation that she had already sized him up and moved on.

"You're a sklave?" He noticed the smallest trace of surprise as her eyes widened and her mouth tightened.

"Not for a long time. But yes, that is where my initial training occurred." He saw the heat in her eyes as she said it, she was angry; how could someone with a white aura have the emotion of anger? He remembered the girl from yesterday, an act? This was what Frau was talking about, he needed to see Frau.

He started to move off in the direction of his office, but she asked, "what about my training? Are you really that slow you've forgotten why you're out here?"

What a brat! Fine, she wants training?

Castor gave her a bright smile, which never came close to reaching his cold eyes, " Why don't you run around this entire complex until I return. Do it as many times as it takes… or until a limb falls off." With that, he turned in a swish of cloth. Glancing behind him, he saw that she was already stretching out her muscles, she didn't look as fragile anymore. There was something about her, something he had only ever seen in samurai warriors, a kind of compact power that almost seared the air from being forced inside of a container, or like a powerful spring pushed way to tight.


	3. Chapter 3 ninja

**If you're ready this far in, i hope it means you like it, and i actually love to hear from everyone with any tips or just funfacts of the day! even if it's just a "good job! i enjoy this!" or the opposite**

**CHAPTER 3**

"She's a SKLAVE!" Castor hissed at Frau, "What the HELL were you thinking!"

Frau looked at Castor over the top of a book, "she actually told you she was a sklave? That doesn't seem like something she would do…"

"Stop acting like you know this girl! She didn't tell me, I figured it out!" Castor was in no mood to have this conversation with Frau. Castor had had to wait until well past 9am before Frau had even made an appearance in his office, and then had to watch him eat a leisurely breakfast before being willing to talk.

"You will soon discover that she was, and is, more than a mere sklave. She was the best. Probably still is the best that was ever trained. During her time as a sklave I heard she was a machine of death and precision." There was a glint in Frau's eye as he said this.

"Honestly Castor, I don't really see what the problem is. First, you don't like her because she's a woman, but then you find she is damn capable of taking care of herself, since she beat your ass," Castor stared daggers at Frau, "and then," he put up a finger, "you find out she's a sklave, which we have never cared about before, and suddenly it's the same as being the spawn of Satan. Explain to me, what exactly do you not like about this girl?" Frau smirked and looked at Castor from the corner of his eye, "could it be... you are intimidated by strong women?"

Castor put his hand up to his eyes, in a tired way. "Frau, do not put words into my mouth, it is not that, there is something about this girl that is off, something different that I cannot recognise. She's strange, too powerful for being so inexperienced and so young! Also, a machine of death? How could you let someone like that into the school?"

"Everyone has a past Castor; they must still be given a chance to prove themselves. And she's really not that young… she transferred in late, so she's older than the rest of the class. She's turning 19 in a few weeks. Also, stop fearing the unknown; I thought you of all people would accept those who are 'different!' But I'm a busy man, and I think we've sorted out the basic problems you have with her. I've just got loads to do, loads and loads and lllloooads!" Frau grinned in a semi-manic way at Castor and flounced out of the room with his book clutched under his arm.

"YOU STILL HAVENT TOLD ME ANYTHING ABOUT HER!" Castor yelled uselessly after him.

Ok, Castor thought, I can figure things out for myself, she's got to have a history, a life, and if Frau isn't going to help me, I have more connections than just him!

With that, Castor stepped out of Frau`s office, and went to find Labrador.

He found him an hour later in the greenhouse. It was a majestic building, in the shape of a golden birdcage, and housed every magical or natural plant imagineable. It was all under the car of Labrador, who had a certain love of trees, and he kept each one manicured to perfection just by asking it. As Castor strode quickly through the path lined with shrubs, he heard Labrador singing on the other side.

When he found him, Labrador was singing to a pair of swaying rose buds, who seemed to be humming along, "Labrador," Castor said, startling the young man out of his song, "I need help, it's about the new student."

"Why, Castor, we have plenty of new students! It is the beginning of the year you know!" He said in his breathy voice, and with a small smile he turned back towards his baby flowers.

"Lab, I need you to see into this girl, please, send a message throughout the gardens, I need you to spy on her, I'm sure she'll talk to Frau outside at some point, and I need you to hear what they talk about!" Castor had never asked Labrador to do something like this, but he could not stand the fact he knew so little about her.

"Castor, my friend," Labradors eyes were looking steadily into Castors, "it was wrong of you to ask me to use life forces in such a way. No, I will not ask the flowers and trees and grass to fulfill a whim of yours. That is not the purpose I have seen for them."

"Labrador! I know their purpose as well, and I don't even have the gift of sight! The flowers will live and die! We should at least give their lives meaning!"

"And so their lives shall be, without hindrance from anything else, such as spying; that is the bond I have with them. I will protect their destinies of living and dying, not meddling." Castor suddenly felt a chill throughout the greenhouse, "Castor, I think it best if you leave now, they do not enjoy this conversation, and I must say, neither do i." Labrador looked at Castor with his large purple-flecked eyes,

"By the way, where is she?"

"Damnit…"

By the time Castor raced across the grounds and into the clock towers courtyard, it was already 11am, and he had left the girl to run for over 7 hours with no water or food. He felt bad, but it was still training; he wasn't going to feel bad if he caused her a bit of pain in the process. As he skidded in front of the clock tower, he was expecting to see her drained body waiting to be taken to the infirmary for sleep and water; but there was no body. She wasn't near the trees, or clock tower! The girl couldn't even handle a few hours of running? Did she go inside? Did she actually give up that easy? A Bishop had to get past all physical inconveniences and push through until they died from trying!

He was just about to storm inside and drag her away from her cosy bed, or meal or whatever she had thought was more important, when he noticed Frau walking down the stairs towards him.

"She gave up!" Castor exploded as Frau approached, "I leave her alone, and she's gone! Couldn't even get through a morning of training, I can't believe you thought she was tough! She should be kicked out immediately!"

Frau looked at Castor, "hmm, weren't you the one who forgot about your student and left her?"

"Frau, its training! She should have run until her limbs couldn't carry her, not just because she was feeling a bit of discomfort, or because she was unsupervised! I tell you, she's not suitable, not at all!" But Frau's eyes suddenly became very round, and his mouth opening in surprise as he looked over Castors shoulder. Castor turned to see what he was staring at, and he felt his body go numb and his own mouth drop to the floor.

Sarah was rounding the bend, and coming into the courtyard. She was limping slightly, and holding her side, but she was smiling! As she neared the two men, they saw she was drenched in sweat, her lips chapped and cracked, with a severely sunburnt nose and neck, but she hadn't stopped!

"Not possible…" Castor whispered.


	4. Chapter 4 mocking bird

**CHAPTER 4**

"Not possible…" Castor whispered, while Frau clapped excitedly beside him, his smile growing wider as she approached. Finally she was standing right in front of them, and looked at Castor expectantly, "what should I do now?"

The cheerfulness in her voice was too much for him, "there's no way you ran that entire time without stopping, you cheated." Castor whispered venomously.

Sarah looked taken aback for a second, but then her cheeks blazed beneath her sunburn, "I sure as hell did not! You said to run until you said to stop, and that's exactly what I did!"

Castor was a bit taken aback; he had not expected her to yell back at him, "not that there's anyone to confirm that! Isn't that just convenient?" He flipped back at her, already preparing to leave, "continue running, and this time try to do what I tell you too." First-year should know there place, Castor stormed as he walked away.

Frau was frowning in Castors direction. Bishops had an acute sense of when someone was lying, and Sarah defiantly wasn't. And although she hid it quite well, Frau suspected that the injury to her ankle was much more serious than she let on.

Loudly, she yelled, "I do have someone! Someone who saw every lap I did!" Castor turned slowly, and stared into her eyes,

"Lazette! I met a mermaid named Lazette in a fountain! She watched as I ran by every time, she, she, uh, she sang to me…" she seemed hesitant to mention the last part, but she looked right back at Castors eyes.

He took a moment to respond, "A mermaid in the fountain? Do you take me for an idiot? Run again, just one entire lap. And this time make sure you run, not jog feebly, if you can do that I might believe you." And with that he turned away and swept out the courtyard.

Frau looked down at Sarah and was surprised to see there were no tears, just confusion, and then determination. "Lazette exists; I could see in his eyes that he knows this! But if he wants me to run, fine. I will run. I will run until he says to stop."

She looked down at her ankle, already it was swollen, and Frau would bet partly broken. He saw her take a deep breath and her body relaxed, but Frau put a hand on her shoulder.

"No, you do not need to pay for one man's stubbornness, I won't allow it."

Sarah stared at the hand for a bit, but gently removed it, "Frau, I've known you for a while now, and I know you mean well, but I'm going to do this. My ankle doesn't hurt at all, it's actually starting to go numb already, so don't worry. How about I come visit you when I'm done training for today?" She gave him a brilliant smile, and was off.

Shit, Frau thought, I'm going to fucking murder than bastard! How dare he hurt Sarah when she hasn't done anything wrong? He knew Sarah all right, and she would never stop, not even to fall to the ground and die. That was how she was. Push push push, no mercy, and no weakness. And now she's running on a broken ankle? He remembered back to when he had first met her, Sarah, hunched over a dying woman, blood already soaked through the knees of her jeans…

* * *

Castor was looking out over the window that faced the fountain. This was near the middle of Sarah's lap; he could see Lazette, erect in the pool, actually waiting for Sarah to come by. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on the glass, remembering the time he had saved Lazette so many years ago. He had known that Sarah wasn't lying, but how could someone run for that period of time without stopping? Without giving up? Why was he trying to break this girl? His head jerked up as he heard Lazette start to sing, she must be close!

He tried to press his face closer to the window to see farther down the cobblestone, she came into his view a few seconds later; and she was running _fast_. She waved at Lazette, slowing down to hear her song. And then she was gone, running further and further away, and rounded the corner of the church.

Castor ran to the other side of the small tower to keep her in his sight. something was wrong. There was defiantly something wrong, she immediate decreased her speed, her eyes and lips were pressed in a pale line, and she was visibly limping. The happiness was just an act for Lazette; she was in agony.

Suddenly, an audible `crack' echoed throughout the tower. Castor looked wildly for the source, and noticed that Sarah had fallen to the ground. Her ankle, she was holding her ankle. Her face had gone completely white under her sunburn, and a sound like a wounded cat escaped her mouth, but she instantly pressed her first against her lips to stiffly the sound.

Castor watched, eyes wide in disbelief. Sarah closed her eyes and took deep breaths, and moved her hand away from her face. She sat for about 1 minute, before she attempted to stand. As soon as she had achieved a stable standing position, she gingerly put weight onto her mangled foot. A tinged-green touched her cheeks, and she swayed dangerously, but she was able to keep standing. 7 steps later, she was on her knees, vomiting on the cobblestone path.

Castor couldn't rip his eyes away, it was horrifying, but he couldn't move. She was looking at her ankle, and did the craziest thing. Her arm rose above her head, fingers balled in a fist, and were brought down hard on her twisted foot. She had _punched_ her broken ankle! But it had the desired effect, and she flew to her feet and started to run as fast as she could.

Castor broke out of his spell of horror, and hurtled down the stairs. The girl was going to kill herself trying to complete the lap! He had reached the bottom; the courtyard was a mile away! He ran flat out, she's insane! Who the hell would do such a thing just to sustain pride?

He made it, but where the hell was she? She wasn't where he had seen her drop after her painful sprint... it couldn't be? Had she actually made it to the end? He started to run to the clock tower; seconds later he had rounded the corner. Sarah was on her knees, face drenched with sweat and a nasty colour, no longer beuitful, she looked deranged.

"NO!" Castor yelled as he ran towards her. He grabbed her wrist, but she had gone completely limp after hearing his voice.

She groaned, slowly going in and out of consciousness, looked up at him, and said through cracked lips, "m-m-made it."

Castor looked down at her through his glasses. Bending down he put his arms under her neck and legs, and held her to his chest until they reached the infirmary.


	5. Chapter 5 and to the gallows

**One thing to remember before you read this: Castor is the Ghost called Fest, his job is to bind souls together, I spin a few things my way as well, so try not to compare everything to the anime, since I'm not.**

**Chapter 5**

Slowly, Sarah felt herself regain consciousness. Where was she? Her fingers were laying on something soft. She opened her eyes a fraction: White. She was in a white room, laying on something white, but also squishy, a bed? She let her sensed roam, heard the splash of water being poured, smelt the harshness of cleaner and disinfestation, tinged with lemon scent, the squeak of shoes on a tiled floor. Hospital?

There was a sudden shift of movement beside her and she closed her eyes again, trying to still feign sleep.

"I know you're awake," said a soft voice close to her ear, while something warm touched her hand.

She breathed out, and tried to open her eyes completely. Something seemed to be covering her vision; it was like looking out of fogged glasses. Confused she tried to wipe off whatever was covering her face, but the warm hands brought hers gently down to her side,

"Stay still, it's just a medicine-mask to quickly heal the sunburns on your face," the soft voice said again,

"Castor?"

"Yes, it's me." Why did he sound so sad?

She laid in silence for a few more seconds,

"You knew I wasn't lying, and you knew I was just pretending my ankle was fine…" she stopped, having to take a breath before continuing to control her anger. It had never been her place to question why people did things; she did what she was told and dealt with the outcome. That was until she met Castor.

"Why were you different from the first time I met you? If I didn't have eyes, I would have sensed two different people. What's going on Castor? Your personality did a complete 360 in less than 24 hours." He had no answer for her; he removed his hand from hers and kissed her forehead.

* * *

'Not my personality…' Castor thought as he walked slowly away from the infirmary. He had no idea what the answer was yet, but it was true. Something weird had happened today to change him so drastically. He would not look Sarah in the eyes until he could give her a reason. When he looked up he saw Frau leaning against the wall at the very end of the corridor.

He straightening as Castor walked towards him, "How is she?"

"She seems to be fine, her face looks like it was hit with a ball of gelatine, and her ankles broken. The nuns say it should take about 6 weeks for her to heal, but I'd give it 3 if she's careful and it's a clean break."

Frau laughed, "She won't be careful, I'll bet she'll ask to continue training again starting tomorrow."

In unison they started to walk down the hallway.

Frau side-glanced at Castor, "so, do you think it has anything to do with you being a Ghost?" he said softly.

"Frau, Ghosts don't act that way. Pain is something they heal, not give."

"But we also build strength in those that we deem worthy. It's how we can choose only the best to be Bishops."

"No, it's defiantly not that. I would have never done something so horrible and blind." Castor stopped, "and there's something else, I just can't get my head around the feelings I had; deep down, I wanted her to succeed, but on the surface, every fibre of my being was rooting for her to fail, to see how hard she could be pushed before she crumbled. I can't see Fest doing that to a human, his job is to save people."

Frau sighed, "First thing you should know: Sarah is unbreakable. Stop feeling so horrible. This is not the worst thing she's gone through; some stories of hers would make your skin crawl. But these things have made her impervious to pain or fear. She doesn't dull these feelings though, she moves with them and learns how to heal and be better for the next time. Also, I think she must have unintentionally learned to manipulate her life form to create healing zaiphon when she was younger, i dont even think shes aware of it now. Watch how quickly her ankle heals. If im right, then her ability to adapt her zaiphon is one reason why she can make a great Bishop, but another is that even though happened, I think she knows it wasn't you that pushed her this hard."

"You've never been so cryptic before Frau… But what do you mean it wasn't me? I know it was me, I will not ignore what I did, even if she is able to handle pain well."

"I did not mean that it wasn't you. Of course it was you. What I mean is I don't think you were in control of your motivations; someone else was controlling them, and therefor influencing your feelings through them. I seriosuly think Fest was channelling itself through you."

"Stop! Fest would not channel itself through me for the mere task of training an apprentice!" Castor looked at Frau, a strained look on his face, "that doesn't make any sense."

"No, I don't think he emerged just because of the training. The only reason he would come is if he felt threatened. I think he sensed that Sarah would be a danger to him somehow. He was trying to protect you, by making you distance yourselves from each other."

Castor sighed, "So are we really that controlled by our alter-self that we take their thoughts as our own without even knowing it?"

"Of course that is the way it goes! We are, after all, just a vessel for them to hole up in until there is danger nearby; but I am curious about the future now… how is Sarah going to be a danger to you? You don't think it's a defensive mechanism do you? I don't think its possible that she could cause you physical harm, but mentally maybe? Think about it, as Bishops, and as Ghosts, we are all only supposed to give ourselves to God, and only love others in the form of empathy and healing. As Ghosts we can never have relationships, its forbidden that we tell anyone and to have such a bond with someone entails complete truth; the two just cannot coexist. But if Fest saw that this balance was in jeopardy…"

"Frau you're making it seem like I am in love with this girl," Castor said, unimpressed.

They stopped walking, they had ended up in front of the statue of Fest; Castor himself.

Frau looked up at the towering figure, "out of all the souls that you've bound together, it seems fitting that yours should have a chance to experience it as well. If she is your soul mate, I don't even think the power of God or Ghosts will get between you two for long."

Castor hesitated, but he needed to tell Frau, "Your theory of Fest, i think..."

Frau looked at him questioningly.

"When I remember this morning, it feels like it was someone else who was walking in my body. When I look back, it's as though I was just a passenger, watching all these things happen. I remember all the things I said, and all feelings of anger and disgust towards her, but it doesn't seem _real! _I have had never been so vile to anyone in my life, why start with a girl i dont know?"

"Castor, I really don't think you could have done anything to stop it. If it really was Fests' influence, you technically must bend your will to match his. But how did Fest leave your conscious? How come your emotions aren't still being influenced by him? You seem like your regular empathetic self now."

"I think it might have been Lazette. When I was watching Sarah run, she ran past Lazette as she was singing and I remembered back to when i became a Ghost. I could feel myself starting to surface again, and then when I heard her ankle break, everything that was happening suddenly seemed so real again.

Frau smiled, "So, whenever you start to go under again, I'll just have to throw you into the fountain for Lazette to deal with!"

Castor laughed with Frau; they had a solution, he wasn't losing his mind, and he had a plan for if it happened again, although it would probably involve him getting wet… but this meant he would be able to see Sarah without wondering if his thoughts were being distorted by Fest. But he hadn't fallen in love with her, had he? She was still stubborn, and unpredictable, not stable in the least. But she was also caring, powerful, there was something warm about her, even if she seemed to have be shrouded in misery for most of her life…

"I'm going to go see how our patient is doing, want to come along?" Frau broke into his happy thoughts.

"No, not right now, I'm going to stay here for awhile" As soon as Frau had left, he turned to face the statue and whispered, "If it's love and I choose Sarah, will I have to fight you for the rest of my life?"


	6. Chapter 6 throwing plates

**Chapter 6**

As Frau walked into the infirmary the next day, he was surprised to see Labrador already sitting beside Sarah's bed. They were laughing at one of the plants Lab had brought with him; some weird ivy with mutant-sized gerbera daisies. The Ivy could barely hold the Daisies upright and emitted loud squeaks every few seconds; closer, Frau saw that they were swaying, even though there was no breeze.

'Hey!' Sarah said looking up, with a smile. The thick mask of medicated aloe was still on her face, but no longer covered her eyes or mouth.

She touched the plant lightly, "Willy-Vines! Since I couldn't go to his lessons today, Labrador brought the lesson to me!"

Labrador laughed "and I wanted to see how you were doing!"

"You've been here for 3 hours! You could have seen I was ok in the first 5 minutes!"

Frau laughed "you should take that as a compliment; usually we can only get him inside a building for an hour at a time."

"So, how long do you think I'll have to keep this mask on?" Sarah asked the two bishops.

"The nuns say that it should stay on until it becomes completely dry, and it's able to peel off" Frau answered,

Sarah touched the mask lightly; still completely wet, and it had already been a whole day.

"Do they have any idea how long _that_ will take?" She asked sullenly, but she knew it wouldn't be before she had to go back to classes with the other students tomorrow.

"Tomorrow afternoon should do it, I'd say after breakfast at the earliest." Lab said, "But it'll be worth it! You won't have to deal with any peeling skin; the mask will heal everything perfectly. But I must leave, I have another class in an hour." Labrador stood smoothly, picked up his hat, and waved to Sarah and Frau as he left.

Sarah flopped back into her pillows, arms folded across her chest, "I wonder if I'm ever going to live down the embarrassment of wearing this mask in public." She was not impressed.

"When have you ever cared what people think about you? Maybe you'll start a new fashion trend." He barely concealed a grin, and reached over to poke Sarah's cheek. His finger came away gooey, "but id say probably not."

Sarah threw a pillow at him, which he easily dodged. Unfortunately, it hit Castor square in the face as he rounded the divider to her bed.

"Castor! I didn't see you there!" Sarah didn't try to hide her delight

"Is your ankle feeling any better this morning? The nuns were telling me you weren't taking any of the medication for pain or swelling?"

"Nah, my ankle is doing just fine without help. That drink they tried to give me smelled like paint. I'm temporarily crippled, but I'm not about to fix it by drinking something that will kill me"

"That's fine," Castor said, smiling at her again as he sat beside Frau, "I actually just came by to tell you that your training will begin again tomorrow, but this time well be doing hand combat. Well start after breakfast, around 8oclock. I think the gymnasium should be sufficient space."

"Hand combat? We'll be using Zaiphon?" she hadn't expected to use it so soon.

"You'll see tomorrow! But make sure that goo is off, it might hinder you."

When Sarah showed up outside the building, the doors were already open. Her mouth almost hit the floor as she stared across at the smooth, waxed floors.

But they weren't smooth anymore. Candles were placed in a random order all over the floor, their flickering lights barely seen in the brightly lit room. 'Whoa…' Sarah thought as she stepped carefully into the room, avoiding the first of the flames. 'What the hell…' but she couldn't contemplate the feeling for long, Castor came up behind her. As she turned to face him, her foot kicked two candles over, extinguishing the flames.

"Since I'm pretending this is your first day of training, I won't count those two." He called back as he glided into the room, picking his way through the maze of wax. He was carrying two bokken under his arm.

When castor reached the centre of the room, he turned to face Sarah.

"For today's training, we're just going to practise on balance and coordination, just the basics." He threw the bokken just far enough out of her reach that she had to jump into the maze of candles to catch it. As she lunged, she felt her foot kick another candle over.

"Also, for every candle that falls over today, you will have to do that many hours of kitchen duty tonight!" He said it so cheerfully, but Sarah groaned; she hated kitchen duty. Peeling vegetables and washing pans was tedious at best.

'So just don't knock over any more,' she chided herself. But she had never used wooden swords before, also, her foot felt so strange. She was wearing a foot-cast wrapped in a layer of bandages; she had also relented to drinking a purple potion that would allow her to stand on her foot for a few hours without damage.

Sarah moved slowly through the candles until she was right in front of Castor. Slowly, she raised the sword above her head, while Castor extended his parallel to the floor, pointed at her.

"Well just be exchanging hits for today, the most important thing is to avoid the candles under pressure."

As soon as Castors foot left the ground, their dance began. Tentatively he touched her sword, but instead of stopping, Sarah violently repelled the blow and immediately tried to land her own hit. "Beginner my ass.'

Castor jumped backwards, his eyes flashed with interest. Her technique was to use force, not her brain. This was going to be almost too easy. He landed precariously between a group of candles close together, but was in the air almost instantly as Sarah came flying towards him.

Hit, dodge, dodge, jump, hit, reflect.

She moved faster than he had thought. He soon realized her speed and strength were dangerous enough to make up for lack of sword technique.

It was almost 4 hours before they landed in the positions they started in; feet planted on the ground, swords held in waiting. Both were perspiring and breathing heavily; the temperature in the gym was almost unbearably hot from the candles mixed with their body heat. Sarah's foot had started to throb

Castor let his sword fall to his side, grinning as he surveyed the room.

"From what I can count, you knocked over 11 candles, much better than I thought you would."

Sarah also looked around, her eyes twinkling, "your reflexes must be getting slow, I'm pretty sure I saw you knocked over 5 of those candles yourself." She laughed as Castor made a face, they had been moving so fast he had been sure he was the only one to notice those ones.

Now sheepishly, he said, "what if you only have to do 4 hours of kitchen duty?"

"Or, I could do zero, and well call it even!" She grinned at him, knowing this would never happen "or you could do the 5 hours that you deserve and I'll do my 6."

His face lightened a bit, 'shall we arrive at the kitchen in 2 hours? The sisters are going to be so thrilled…"

* * *

By the time Sarah reached the kitchen, it was already humming with preparation for the night's meal,

"Sarah! My name is Rosalie, it's so great of you to offer your services! Castor has already arrived and is washing the plates." Sarah looked over, and sure enough Castor was by the sink, laughing with the cook. He had changed from the training clothes he had worn, and was now wearing black pants and a white shirt, almost buttoned to his Adams apple, the sleeves rolled up to keep them out of the water. She turned back to Rosalie, bowing her head slightly,

"Thanks for having me! If there's anything you need help with, ill defiantly get it done!"

Rosalie smiled, "well, the plates and tablecloths need to be put into the hall, but start quickly, there are almost two dozen tables and each one seats 10 people!"

She showed Sarah where to find everything and then went off to make sure the food was being prepared properly. 'This will be fine,' Sarah told herself firmly, 'it's just tablecloths and dishes, there's no way you could mess that up."

But about 30 minutes later it became apparent that she could. No matter how much she tried, the table clothes wouldn't sit on the table and either kept sliding onto the floor, or bunching up at the centre. "Ggahhhhh," she moaned, "this is impossible!" She was currently kneeling on the table to hold the corners of one end down while flinging the rest of the cloth to the other side.

Someone chuckled behind her, and she jumped off the table. Unfortunately, without her knees there to keep the cloth up, it slithered to the floor in a heap of linen. When she looked up, Castors face was inches from hers as he bent to pick up the material. 'Of course its Castor,' Sarah thought, 'out of all the people to see me fail…'

"Didn't anyone ever teach you to drape a tablecloth?"

She looked at the table, "uh, no."

She didn't want to tell him that she had never had tablecloths. "But I think I was getting the hang of it, these tables are a bit too long…" But as she was speaking Castor had grabbed two ends, and in one fluid motion, threw the other end in the air and draped it over the table perfectly.

"See? Easy!"

It only took him seconds after she had taken almost an hour! How unfair!

Hiding her annoyance, she grabbed the huge pile of cloth, "Wow! That's amazing! So, since your better at that then I am, why don't you do the rest of the tables?" She dropped the towering pile into his arms, "and I'll just set the table?"

She picked up a few plates and looked at him expectantly. Castor looked down at her, and sighed, "Fine, but Rosalie's going to have your head, I'm supposed to be peeling carrots."

"Ahh, she'll get over it!" and smiling Sarah set a few plates down on the cloth.

* * *

It was almost 2 hours later when they set down the last plate, and straightened the last fork. It probably wouldn't have taken so long, except that they were constantly interrupted by cooks needing help, or when Castor was needed in the church. The biggest distraction came when Frau made an appearance and tried to tie Castor into one of the cloths while yelling that the castle was haunted by ghosts. Castor had not been impressed by this and had thrown him from the dining hall until everything was done.

Finally preparation was done and they were sitting down to dinner with the other Bishops, nuns and whoever was staying in the church. The meal was full of laughter, the dining hall filled with everyone's voices bouncing off the wall and ceiling.

Sarah was placed facing Castor, which was distracting since she couldn't seem to stop glancing up every few seconds. The day had been too good to be true, even now she could have sworn she caught his eye once or twice, but she looked away too fast to be sure. He wouldn't be watching her too, would he?

"What's your schedule for tomorrow?" Frau asked, cutting across her thoughts. She had just looked away from Castor, and wondered if Frau had seen, how would he take it?

Sarah scrunched up her nose,

"It can't be that bad!" Castor said brightly, "it's the first class you'll have with the rest of the students, and your sunburn is completely healed, and your ankles healing amazingly fast."

Beaming, Sarah nodded, "yea, I'm sure it'll be a good day, do you think I'll be far behind the others?" She knew she would be ahead of her class, but would she have to deal with childish taunts again? There were people in her grade that were older than her, but she didn't know if they'd be any different than the boys she had met on the first day.

"From what I saw today, defiantly not," Castor smiled at her over the top of his glass, why did her pulse suddenly quicken with his glance? But now at least she had an excuse to look at him.

Castor and Frau walked back to their rooms in silence. Castor turned to open his door, but Frau stopped him with a hand on the door, "you know there are so many reasons why it won't work out."

Castor didn't remove his eyes from the still-closed door, "Frau, I don't know what…"

"She's a pupil here. I thought that would be enough of a reason. But if it's not, how about the fact you're not really human?" Castor looked into his face, but it was blank.

Leaning his head against the door, he began, "I thought I could hide it better, do you think anyone else knows?"

"No, I don't think so. But you've still got to be cautious; it was obvious tonight, even if you're both sneaky. Did something happen during training? Please, answer me honestly."

"No, nothing happened. What do you mean 'your both?' " Was there really hope? He thought he had seen her looking at him, but had written it off as wishful thinking.

"Seriously Castor, in your position, love isn't an emotion your privileged enough to express. You'll break her heart in the long run, as well as your own. All im saying is, _be careful_"

Frau left after his warning, and Castor entered his room slowly. Lying flat on his back, the bed springs digging into his spine, but he wasn't thinking of Frau's warning. Dreams of being together with Sarah floated in his mind. Could it happen, or would they have to settle with giving each other looks while the other wasn't looking?

Unfortunately, every dream never had an ending, they just seemed to end and fade away.


	7. Chapter 7 hiding

**This got in the way of life for a bit so i had to stop writting, but ive got a few more chapters done here and there**

**CHAPTER 7**

3 weeks later, Sarah's ankle was fully healed. She hadn't been allowed to use the ankle brace again; the nurse had said she abused it the first time by training with Castor. This meant no training, but she had healed perfectly, and quickly.

Now she walked down the dim corridors that connected the residency to the rest of the school and church. She was late for morning mass, but she wasn't concerned. Since coming to the school she had either not gone or arrived late. Frau had asked her about it; apprentices had to be devoted to God in order to be a Bishop, but it wasn't God she was ignoring.

She started to slow down, what was the point? God knew she believed in him, why did she have to show it to a bunch of strangers too? She was just about to turn around, maybe go take a nap, when a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Running late again? Why don't we walk together?" Damn! Castor had just blocked her escape.

Walking as slowly as possible she followed behind him,

"Why are you here? Aren't you part of the ceremony?"

"I already did my duties for today's ceremony, I was taking a walk and lost track of time a bit," he turned his head, smiling, and saw how far back she had fallen, "your ankle is not still bothering you is it?"

She stopped and glared at him, "Frau sent you here, didn't he?"

He turned back around and continued walking, "Frau's not the only one who's noticed your absence."

So Frau wasn't the one who made him come? Not that it made a difference; it still meant she was being forced to sit in a stuffy room, full of followers, listening to the dullest sermon of her life. .. Or did it?

"Castor, I'm just slowing you down. Why don't you go on ahead and I'll meet you there?"

"Oh no, it's no trouble, were almost there anyway."

And on they walked, right up to the huge wooden doors leading to the alter.

Castor crossed himself and put a hand on the heavy door, turning to see if she had caught up.

Where was she?

He stood up fast, where the hell was she! He had only looked away for a few minutes, but she was already gone! He closed his eyes, maybe he was imaging it. Opening them again it wasn't so. Gone. Gone. Gone. She was so silent! He looked towards the door; Frau would just have to do the service without him.

* * *

FREEDOMMmm! Sarah sang in her head as she ran lightly through the corridors and out the back of the building. 'Ill just keep out of sight until it's over.'

She sprinted across the grass, looping around so that she was facing the white bridge that led to town.

Might as well have some fun, they'll probably check the school before town. She slowed down as she neared the gate, waving at the guard in front as she went by.

About 30 minutes later she was walking through the town. She hadn't realized how silent the church was until now; her senses were assaulted with explosions of sound and colour. She loved it!

Looking into all the shops, and talking and laughing with the vendors, she realized that the town was having a celebration. From all the lanterns and kites, as well as the time of season, it must be a moon celebration.

As she went through the centre of the town, it become crowded and the music got louder. People were dancing and drinking everywhere. She waved off a guy selling beer, but got tied up in the dancing.

The noise! She was laughing; it had been so long since she had fun! A man a bit older then her looped her into the circle of people, spinning and singing, the flashes of red, orange and yellow a blur in the background.

Another man was in front of her now, holding her waist and pressed close to her body from the push of the crowd. So close that his face was almost a blur. Pulling back she saw he was handsome, straight white teeth, brown hair and eyes, but his nose was crooked, it suited him.

Time had seemed to leave her, but at some point she realized her feet were sore, had she really been dancing that long? Bangs went off somewhere close and the crowd was covered in confetti. Time didn't matter.

She was farther in the circle now, how much time had passed? She was surprised to see the sun was farther in the sky, at least 1 in the afternoon now. Church would have been over for hours now. Had the bishops searched the school? Frau would be livid, Castor as well.

The guy was leaning over, mouth pressed almost against her ear to talk over the bass and singing.

"Take a break?"

And so they went to the edge of the crowd and walked the same way Sarah had come hours before, this time buying rolls and water bottles from the vendors.

They talked for a bit, she told him her name, and that she was living at the church, and found out his was Tao, who was visiting his grandmother but had come out for the celebration.

"But how come you're here all by yourself? It could be dangerous if you've only ever seen the inside of the church." He asked.

Sarah laughed, "I used to live in this town when I was a child, so I know it as well as anybody, maybe even more so."

Turning a corner, laughing and talking, she almost ran right into a man who was talking to a merchant. She started to step around him, but then she noticed his coat.

The exact same coat Castor wore when he didn't wear Bishops robes.

Tao was about to say something, but she dug her hand into his ribs, and hauled him back behind the building.

* * *

Castor thought he heard something behind him; turning his head he saw no one. He returned his attention back to the shopkeeper, and listened as she told him of a man who had just bought buns for a lovely girl that was _just_ like the one he had described.

* * *

Sarah was almost half way down the street before Tao caught up with her. Hands on knees, breathing heavily, he looked up at her.

"I'm guessing that you're really not supposed to be in town, huh?" She looked down at him, biting her bottom lip, and looked back down the street they had come. No sign of Castor yet, but that could change in a second. Also, she was pretty sure that if Castor was here, Frau would be as well. But she wasn't ready to go back yet.

"Let's keep going, I'll tell you on the way. But we need to get away from here now."

On they walked.

"It's true that I should bring someone with me when I go to town, but it's not really enforced… I think they'll mostly be mad that I ditched church again."

Tao smiled, "your training to be a Bishop, shouldn't you want to go to church?"

"Yes, that is how apprentices usually are, but my faith is stronger than a lot of the people in that room, i dont need to be taught it."

"Maybe going there isn't just for your belief, maybe you can also strengthen others belief too"

His eyes were twinkling, almost like lights, "I can only do that if I'm a Bishop. I don't have the status to show people yet. I'm still an apprentice, so all I'd do is sit, listening to the other guys talk about lambs and parables."

Tao nodded, looking up at the sky. Evening was approaching, and the sky was quickly changing from pink to darker blue, she had spent almost an entire day in town.

He faced her, "I never expected to meet someone like you today, but im glad. Does this mean you can still stay? They're about to release the lanterns."

If she left now she would make it back to the gate before it closed for the night, getting back inside would be a lot trickier if she missed it; she might even have to find Castor or Frau…

But this only happened once a year! Smiling, she nodded.

They wound their way into the centre of the town again where the music was loudest; it seemed to have gotten louder as the night wore on. Tao grabbed Sarah's hand, and once again they were swinging through couples, his face so close to hers, bodies pressed against them from either side.

His hands tightened around her waist, bringing her closer. One hand come up and grazed her hair, coming to a rest around the base of her skull. The slightest pressure was enough to bring their lips together, for the briefest instant as Sarah closed her eyes.

'What the hell am i doing?' Her eyes snapped open, and she backed away from him.

"I… I …." She stuttered stumbling as dancers veered around her. But as she turned, her mind froze.

People were still swirling and colours were still pulsing, but her eyes ignored all of it to stare into horribly familiar brown eyes that stared right at her. Right now the eyes were filled with a horror that she could only assume mirrored her own. Castor.


	8. Chapter 8 beauty

**CHAPTER 8**

Dressed in black, he stood out from the bright crowd. Even though she never took her eyes off him he managed to disappear in the crowd before she reached him.

She felt Taos hand trying to grab her arm, but she slid away. Running zigzag through the maze of people, pushing and watching, yearning to see a flash of black.

She was on the outside of the crowd now where there was less people.

"SHIT" she yelled, slamming her first against the wall. She leaned her head against it, the cool stone taking the heat away from her face. But what would happen if she found him? Its not like they had confessed to eachother, but she didnt want to kiss another guy!

She continued walking down the street, darkness had fallen. She took random turns, not really caring where she went, only that it was in the direction of the church. A few minutes had gone by before she heard the sound of water. So she was near the river? That was fine, she could just follow it back to the school, she was ready to go back now.

When the body of water finally came into view, the full moon was projected perfectly onto its still surface. She walked along the edge; it was so much quieter out here… strange how much she missed the loudness of the town already.

Slowly, in the direction of the town, the sky seemed to lighten. The lanterns from the town had finally been let go for the festival and were now drifting through the sky towards her. Would Castor have liked this? Was he watching them too? She really didn't know if he liked that sort of thing, but she thought he would. She waited until they were right over her head.

She stayed there until the last lantern had drifted off across the water. She'd probably have to sleep outside until the gates opened, she wouldn't be able to get Castor to open them. She couldn't imagine what she would do if she saw him again tonight.

She walked on; finally she made it to the road that led right up to the gates. Maybe she would be able to sleep under one of the trees? She had heard stories that Labrador slept outside often, so it couldn't be that bad. Finally, she stood outside the gates, and tried to pull it open, just to be sure. But, of course, it was sealed tight.

Sighing, she turned around to find the most comfortable tree, and froze. Out of the shadow of the fence came a figure.

"Castor?" She whispered, but it seemed that instinct was stronger than her brain and her body crouched low.

The figure didn't have the same build as Castor, there was also something different with the way it moved. Barely breathing she waiting for it to come into the moonlight.

Coming to the edge of darkness, it took the finally step into the moonlight,

"Tao? What are you doing here?"

For it was Tao, but it didn't add up. How did he get here so quickly? He would have had to pass her to arrive before her… And why had she reacted as though he was an enemy? She stayed crouched low.

"Everything bad always seems to come in threes doesn't it?" When he laughed shivers ran up and down her spine. It was a cold and lifeless sound.

Tao started to walk towards her. "I think I've failed at pretty much everything in my life, but i was happy when I met you; it was the first time I've been happy in a long time. But you don't like me either huh? Why'd you leave me? I thought you liked me, I know I liked you. But then you ran away, just like everyone else in my life. So why'd you run away? Why did you seem happy the rest of the time?"

And suddenly there was complete stillness, the light breeze died completely. Nothing moved, no sound, as though the world stood still, holding its breath too.

A strange whistling suddenly seemed to come from Tao, growing louder. Hunching over, Sarah saw his face contort in pain.

Boned wings erupted on either side of his body, his face now full of darkness and shadows.

"Fuck" Sarah whispered as she watched him transform.


	9. Chapter 9 Tao

CHAPT 9

Castor had finally made it to the path leading to the church. He couldn't seem to slow his thoughts down enough to think. She really hadn't known he liked her? Had he actually needed to say it with words? She seemed so perceptive of everything else! Even though he hadnt been able to explain his hostility towards her when they first met, she had accepted him without question; maybe she was just pretending to like him before?

Still lost in thought he continued walking.

But the air seemed to be growing heavier the farther along he walked until he couldn't ignore it anymore.

'It's coming from the gate' he thought as he sped up.

When the gate was finally in view, he stopped. There were two figures standing there, Castors senses picked up evil coming from the tallest figure. He started to run again, were they trying to break into the church? As he neared, there faces became illuminated by moonlight. The taller one was the man he had seen kiss Sarah, the other was Sarah!

Castor slowed down, his heart seemed to constrict at the sight of them together.

An eerie whistle sounded, and suddenly the man doubled over, wings already erupting from his back.

His feet started to run before he knew what was happening, didn't she realize the danger she was in? The Kor would soon attack her and she would be completely defenceless! As he ran he could feel strings starting to extend from his fingers, Fest would have to emerge.

Sarah was raising her hands; did she think that would protect her?

But then he saw her aura. He had gotten so used to seeing the white faze around her, he never really focused on it anymore. But it wasn't just a haze anymore; it had become an opaque gas, extending towards the man's body and then retreating back.

Yellow was starting to infuse itself with the aura, moving up and coming to a stop at her hands. Castor felt a new type of energy pulsing through the air, like powerful Zaiphon.

The light yellow had turned into a flaming gold, and was now branching out from her hands, forming a swirling tycoon around the pair. Castor had reached the edge of them, and the swirling stopped. It had formed a domed web, and Sarah and the man were contained within. The strings that had extended from his fingers retracted, Fest was waiting as well. Castors heart almost beat out of his chest, the power in the air was taking the breath out of him.

What on earth was going on? This power… It couldn't be that she knew how to heal a Kor?

The yellow beams that had made the web were breaking apart and moving towards the man. One rested on his wrist, and he seemed to sag, as though unable to support its weight. More and more of the threads of gold settled on his shoulders, head, and arms; he was finally pulled to the ground, unable to move.

Castor heard a voice being carried by the wind. Sarah was now kneeling in front of the guy whispering words he couldn't hear. Finally, she put a hand on his head and the golden beams exploded, leaving just fragments of light to settle to the ground and vanish.

The Kor was rising from the body, just a pair of attached wings.

Castor stiffened, the Kor was just going to fly away and infect someone else if he didn't do something!

Then he noticed it wasn't flying straight, struggling just to stay in the air. Little cracks were running throughout its wings, slowly growing bigger and moving to the tips. One of the tips broke apart; turning to dust before it even hit the ground.

Then both of the wings became too overcome with cracks, and dissolved, floating away in the wind.

She hadn't used a bascule.

* * *

Sarah was still kneeling beside the man, who had lost consciousness. She balanced herself by placing her hands on the ground, he could see her chest rising fast as she caught her breath.

He walked in front of her, kneeling so he could look at her face. Her eyes were wide, pupils dilated; she turned her head slowly to look up at him, never blinking.

'Hey.' Her voice was a few octaves higher than normal.

He ignored her and wrapped his arms around her, his glasses fogging as he breathed into her hair. He could feel her shudder beneath him, but he didn't move. Her heartbeat was pounding against his own, he focused on it.

Sarah's breathing become more regular after a few minutes of sitting.

"I don't really want to talk about this yet, ok?" She said into his chest

He responded by putting his chin on top of head and holding her tighter.

When Sarah was finally able to stand, she went over to the unconscious Tao. She put one of his arms around her shoulders and waited for Castor to do the same. She could see light starting to go across the sky; dawn wouldn't be far off now.

"Should we just wait for the guard to come back?" Sarah asked, looking up at the huge gate in front of them.

"Might as well, he should be here in an hour at most."

They didn't have to wait long; when the guard came he immediately opened it when he saw them. Both Sarah and Castor nodded to him, and headed down the bridge.

"He doesn't need the infirmary, just rest," Sarah whispered, how long had she been doing this?

So they headed to the dormitories; all were empty except for the building the Bishops used and the one Sarah was living it.

When they got to Sarah's dorm, Castor turned down the hall leading to her room.

"Aren't there other rooms for him to stay in?" Sarah questioned, Castor had never seen her room before.

He smiled softly, "yes, but I left in quite a rush yesterday morning, in case you had forgotten, so I didn't have any of the keys."

Sarah scrunched her nose at him and repositioned Tao on her shoulders; they were standing outside her room.

She got the room key from around her neck, and struggled to find the keyhole while holding Tao.

She felt all the weight from around her shoulders removed, and turned to see Castor now supporting him easily, having thrown him over one shoulder so Taos butt was in the air.

"Very dignified." She said.

Turning back, smiling now, Sarah got the key in the lock and followed Castor inside.


	10. Chapter 10 The back Story part 1

CHAPT 10

The first thing Castor noticed when he entered her room was the lack of everything. Nothing on the floor, not clothes, not slippers; bed made, closet doors closed. No pictures, no posters, the only thing that showed anyone lived here was a pencil resting on the edge of the desk.

She had been living here for almost a month, but there was nothing here! Maybe it was all in her closet? The desk only had one drawer; he noticed that a lock was fixed on it. Sarah must have made this addition; it had definitely not been there before.

He had by now deposited the man on the bed, and noticed that Sarah was watching him. Had he been staring too long?

"Uh, your room is very clean…" he said lamely.

Sarah raised an eyebrow and turned around hand on the door knob, "I can take care of Tao from here. You should go get some sleep." When he went behind her, he longed to hold her. As soon as he raised his arm to touch her, she swirled around him and he was left grabbing for the door. Behind him now, Sarah placed a hand on his lower back, sending a jolt through his vertebrate.

Then, reaching sound him she opened the door, "Castor, don't tell Frau about this. He may already know, but even so please do not bring it up." As soon as he stepped into the hall the door was closed softly.

He walked down the hall. Why didn't Sarah want him to tell Frau? Why keep this a secret from him? It didn't seem like they kept secrets from each other. Also, if she was afraid of the power she had, Frau had healed people when he wasn't a Bishop, so he should be someone she should want to talk to! Maybe she thought Frau was weaker than her; even before he was an apprentice Frau had needed a bascule…

His thoughts were cut off as he noticed a shadow framed in the door leading to the grounds.

As he walked closer, Frau's features become visible. He was blocking the door and didn't move as Castor came closer. He stopped so that they were almost side by side.

"How much did you see?" Frau didn't move as he looked at Castor.

"Frau, I don't know what you're talking about." It was the first time he had ever lied to Frau, and it was such an obvious lie too… but did this mean Frau already knew about Sarah's power? If he had witnessed everything, he didn't seem fazed at all...

He tried to walk around Frau, but Frau moved so his shoulder blocked Castor.

"Frau, tell me what you know about Sarah." He didn't look at Frau, instead continued to stare outside.

"She'll tell you when she wants to."

"I assumed so." And with that Castor pushed by him and left.

He really didn't know anything about Frau and Sarah's relationship; he didn't even know how long they had known each other.

Had Sarah known Frau since he was a child and first started healing people? From what Castor had learned about Frau, he had been adopted by the church when he was young, but had healed people way before then. He glanced behind him; Frau had gone inside already.

* * *

Frau watched Castor as he left. It was definitely troubling that he was keeping a secret from him. But he had promised Sarah he wouldn't tell anyone, had she made Castor make a similar promise?

He walked down the corridor and knocked on her door.

"Sarah, it's me." He whispered to the door.

As soon as Sarah had opened the door, she turned and sat back down on the bed without looking at Frau, and continued to press a wet towel to the man's forehead.

"He looks better" Frau observed.

"So you were watching last night?"

"Yes."

There was silence for a few minutes,

"Castor just left," Frau's voice sounded normal, but Sarah turned and caught his eye.

"What did you tell him?"

"Nothing, he was there last night?"

"Yes, I'm sure you saw him there."

"So now he knows?"

"He knows I have healing zaiphon powerful enough to heal kor without instruments."

"That's not what I meant."

Sarah closed her eyes and balled her hands in a fist. She was still holding the wet towel, and water started to slowly drip into her lap.

Opening them, she looked at Tao, "No, he doesn't know. You haven't told him?"

"No. Not yet."

"Not ever."

"Sarah! There is more to lose than gain by keeping this a secret."

"And what would you know about it Frau?" She hadn't meant to sound so sharp. She could see the hurt in his eyes. "All I mean, is if he knew everything, there is a heightened possibility of others finding out I'm here."

"But the other Bishops know your name, aren't you worried of them asking around and spreading your name?"

"Why would they? My name keeps them satisfied that I am just another apprentice. If I were to tell him my story, he would need proof. He would dig around, go into town and ask people about our past, about my past! And if someone heard my name that was looking for me... They would find me Frau. Do you understand? _They would find me again_!"

"This is a sanctuary Sarah! No one will hurt you here! They won't find you! If Castor knew, he would protect you!"

This caused Sarah to laugh, "Frau, you speak so optimistically! The word 'sanctuary' doesn't exist in their vocabulary, and what if Castor was hurt by trying to protect me?."

He stood up and put a hand on Sarah's shoulder, she turned to look up at him, "I've watched you around him, and do you really not want him to know who you are?"

"What do you mean you've watched me around him? I treat him no different than anyone else we've known."

Frau smiled, but there was nothing humorous about this conversation, "liar" he whispered. "Don't be ashamed of your past Sarah, you've got nothing to be ashamed of."

Sarah suddenly flew up, and threw the towel at Frau.

"I'm not ashamed!" she yelled, "I want to forget! As much as you love preaching about the past changing people into better people, it was enough that I survived my past sane! If the past effected who I am, then I should be poison! There was nothing good about it! I forgot about the past in order to be who I am!"

Frau bent down and picked the towel up. "You should come to church more often. You still blame yourself Sarah. You haven't forgotten about your past, and stop pretending like you have! You can still heal; even though there's blood on your hands, you're still pure! This man's healing is proof! Just because you're unable to -"

"Frau, get out. Shut up, and get out." She sat back down, her head in her hands.

"Sarah, Castor will understand!"

"FRAU GET OUT!"

Frau almost lost his nose as Sarah slammed the door in his face. He sighed; age hadn't gotten rid of her stubbornness, or her temper.

He walked outside and turned towards the church, remembering back to when he had first met Sarah, they had been so young. He had only been with her for a year before the government raided the streets; all of his old friends had been killed, except Sarah. She had been quicker than the others; no adult had even known she existed. She had escaped the massacre, and, since the government wanted nothing to do with him, Frau had been adopted by the church.

For a few years he was secure with the knowledge that Sarah was safe. Even though Sarah had left the town, they were able to communicate through the remaining street kids.

That was until she was caught by the same government who had gotten him. But she wasn't as lucky as he was. While he had surrendered, she had fought the guards, almost escaping before being overpowered.

Unfortunately, she had impressed them, and was sent to be trained as a warrior, instead of an orphanage. She had only been around 8 and had shown more potential than more seasoned fighters. "Potentially lethal," they had called her since she had refused to fight when they brought her in. But she had been broken, and instead of 'potentially lethal,' she became worse than lethal.

He had not heard from her for over 10 years until he finally heard her whispered by alley kids. They spoke of a woman who had escaped from the depths of the government's hellhole.

What had interested Frau was that even though the woman had been infamous for being a merciless killer, when she escaped there was not one death or injury; speed and skill were used instead to get past the guards holding her.

The street rumours had filled in more blanks; rumours of the nameless girl who could only heal the Kor of men. He had known this nameless girl was the one from his childhood.

It had taken him almost 5 months to find her; she was good at hiding, but he was better.

He found her hiking on a deserted logging road. He followed her for a few days; she looked different, and he wasn't sure it was her. But one afternoon, a man attacked Sarah from a clump of trees she had been walking through.

And he knew: her fighting style was the exact same as when they were kids; again speed and stamina. It took her almost a minute to beat the man, leaving him unconscious.

It was at this point Frau decided to reveal himself, almost getting a broken face from Sarah; he no longer looked like the young boy he was, and she had not trusted him.

At first, he feared she had changed for the worst, and had become a distorted figure of her old self. But in time, after hearing all the stories from their past together, she seemed to swim out of a daze, and ghosts of her old self showed through. He found out that she had been given a constant stream of drugs in order to control her, and her natural abilities had adapted to the drug, quickly leading her to become their top assassin.

Days passed on their trek, and she emerged; waves of relief flooded him. She was still the same, emanating inner power and strength.

Physically though, he had been surprised. The sharp cheekbones and bright golden brown eyes had been alien on her face; she had been pretty when young, but now was eerily beautiful.

From more rumours he had gathered, her employers had changed her appearance to make it easier to earn the attention of her targets; mostly powerful men.

It made him sick as he thought of the things they had made her do. She had explained most of them on the trip: hotels, clubs, rooms, faces.

And yet she was the same; her face a bit different, her body faster than it had ever been, her skills precise, and yet still unable to be controlled. She was one of the few to escape from the government's clutches, and the only one he knew of to survive for so long. To escape, she told him of how she had changed the drug dose they gave her so it would wear off faster. It had worked and she had escaped.

But even on that trip, she never brought up her mother, the one flaw in her power that caused her heart-wrenching pain, and that had brought them together. He wondered if she still thought about it...

Frau was brought back to reality as he stood outside the church.

This was still the girl who struggled because she couldn't heal everyone. The one who still blamed herself for her mother's death. Who still blamed herself for the countless people she had murdered under the governments control. Who had survived it all because of a desire to save other people.

Would she ever tell Castor? Probably not

He made a truce with himself. He would tell Castor everything. She deserved happiness, even if she didn't think she deserved it, and Castor could give her that. He turned around, away from the church.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapt 11

Tao had slept for almost the entire day, only waking up once to relieve himself and eat a bit. Sarah stayed by his side for most of it, leaving only to stretch and eat.

Outside of her room, Frau and Castor avoided each other as neither was good at withholding secrets from the other and were afraid of betraying her. But this was tested during the evening, when Frau entered Sarah's room to find Castor already inside, watching as Sarah gave Tai some water to drink.

The atmosphere tensed as soon as Frau walked in. Sarah looked up, and glanced from Castor to Frau, and sighed.

'You can talk about what happened last night; just don't expect me to join your conversation.' And tight-lipped she turned back to the bed.

Castor and Frau immediately relaxed. It wasn't easy for Ghosts to deceive each other, and almost impossible when the other was already suspicious.

Standing up, Castor excused himself; Sarah nodded to him, but when his back was turned, she shot a warning glare at Frau; he still wasn't to reveal her past, only about her powers.

They didn't go outside as the weather had taken a turn for the worse, clouds hung low and sleet pounded against the windows as they walked by. They walked deeper into the dorms, passing dozens of rooms until they were walking up a steep flight of stairs leading up into a tower.

Minutes later, Frau was sitting cross-legged on the floor while Castor leaned against the wall; the rain seemed louder and lightning pulsed outside. No one would be able to hear them.

Through the gloom, Castor looked down at Frau, "I want to know what happened last night, and how you knew about it." He took a breath, "and I need to know what you feel for Sarah." His face was expressionless, even when the lightning cast light on his face.

Frau drew slow circles in the dust on the floor, Castors voice had been full of emotion; he could hear his heartbeat speed up. He looked up and met Castors gaze, and the ferocity in his eyes surprised him.

"How I feel for Sarah?" he said it slowly, not knowing the right words to say.

Castor was patient, but it was almost 10 minutes before Frau looked up into his eyes, his finger still resting in the dust, "I love her." He didn't blink, waiting for Castors reaction.

It was like looking at gasoline poured on a fire: Castor seemed to shake with emotion, Fury maybe? Frau wasn't sure, but then it quickly died from his face, and he was left breathing hard and clenching his fists.

"What about the other questions?"

Frau was surprised, "that's it? That's all? You're just going to accept that?"

"I have no other choice than to accept it. I could fight you over her, but you know she would never take part in the outcome. If I won, and tried to tell her she had to be with me because of that, both of us would lose and she'd walk away from both of us. She wouldn't be classified as a prize, it's her decision. It's always been her decision hasn't it?"

Frau hung his head, "She has chosen you I think. Since I met her she's always been in the back of my mind, but it doesn't matter. She doesn't feel the same for me, but she does for you. I am the unlucky one; she also loves me, I know that, but that's like comparing a mountain and a mole hill, the love for you overshadows mine. I can accept this, because I also love you Castor, and would never be able to hurt either of you." Frau seemed to be embarrassed by this intense moment, and went back to running his finger along the floor.

Even the rain became silent for a bit after that, and a warm feeling spread through Castor as he looked at the man playing with dirt on the floor, willing to sacrifice his heart so that Castors' could be complete.

Castor kneeled onto the floor, "it's not fair that you must be unhappy in order for me to be happy –"

But Frau cut across him, "if you didn't have Sarah, you would fall apart, don't lie or shake your head, it's true. Neither of you express it in words, nor do you express it by your actions, but those little glances are more than either of you has ever given another person. I may have fallen for her, but I can get over it. I've known her almost my whole life and the connection we had is nothing compared to yours; i have never recieved those glances. So it's impossible for you Castor; even though you're a Ghost, she's your soul."

Castor smiled, it felt so long since he'd actually smiled. Leaning over, he hugged Frau softly. "I still expect the rest of my questions to be answered one day."

Frau smiled too, "I'd love to, but I think Sarah will finally be able to tell you herself," and he looked past Castors shoulder to where Sarah was standing on top of the staircase. There were tear trails on her cheeks, and as she made eye contact with Frau she turned and fled down the stairs. Exhaling loudly, Castor picked himself up off the floor, "uh, well, I guess I'll go back to the chapel and get it ready for the service tomorrow, do you think Tao will be there?"

Frau stood up as well, "probably not, I expect Sarah will try and hustle him out in the dead of night before everyone sees him; nobody likes a scandal." He winked at Castor, and walked slowly down the stairs.

* * *

It was almost time for mass and both Castor and Frau were already in the church, standing front and centre at the alter. Something was different today, it was as though the church had a spotlight on it, the rain had cleared, and the two Bishops almost shone, extending their light and happiness to those around them.

And it seemed that Sarah didn't mind a scandal. As soon as the bell rang, letting everyone know that mass was soon to start, Sarah came flying in, Tao in tow. Both of the Bishops astonishment was apparent to the congregation, and the entire crowd turned to watch her. Immediately, a murmur went through the hall as everyone speculated who the boy was and why Sarah had finally decided to attend. Sarah flopped immediately into the first bench she came to; Tao on the other hand spent time genuflecting before sitting down.

"Ahhhhh" Frau watched this, and he exchanged looks with Castor. The only reason Sarah was here was because Tao was religious, and had wanted to come to mass; Sarah was only there to make sure he wasn't still exhausted from the attack.

During the entire ceremony Castor watched Sarah. It was like watching a baby deer trying to stand on spindly legs. He had never seen her uncertain about anything before, and she had never seemed so vulnerable as she did while trying to keep up with the cermony and all of the motions and songs.

But Tao helped her, and she followed when he kneeled, or stood or shook hands with the other patrons.

It was near the ending that Castor realized Sarah had fallen asleep, and Tao was trying to prod her awake without anyone seeing. But Castor couldn't blame her; she hadn't slept while taking care of Tao, and had used a huge amount of energy to kill his kor. People had started to notice, and were looking scandalized and pointing; people from all over came to hear the Bishops talk, so how could this girl sleep while in their presence?

Tao wasn't having much luck, so instead he tried to make her confortable and gathered her into his arms, her head resting on his chest, with his chin resting on top of it. Castor stopped smiling, and glared at Tao.

Everyone was bowing their heads in reflection, and Frau glanced at Castor. But the other Bishop was already sweeping down the aisle, and walking towards where Sarah sat. He leaned over Tao, and gracefully lifted Sarah right off the bench, making sure to give Tao an unrestrained glare. As Frau watched, he saw Tao give an involuntary shudder as he looked into Castors face; the crowd of people followed Frau's gaze, and some were now craning their necks to see what was happening.

Frau took no notice of them and continued to watch. It wasn't until Castors robes whipped out of sight and the doors had closed that he snapped back and hurriedly ended mass.

Castor was having an inner battle with himself as he walked across the lawn, had he over-exaggerated? Tao didn't have the right to hold Sarah like that! 'Crap!' he muttered, of course he was wrong; Sarah was going to kill him. He had actually walked out on mass, not good, definitely not good.

When he got to her room he wrestled the door open, and laid her on the unmade bed. It smelled of stale sweat from Tao, so Castor crumpled the bedding into a ball and went in search for clean ones. There weren't any under the bed or on top of the dresser, the only other place to look was the closet, but for some reason he was hesitant to open it, but there couldn't be anything dangerous could there?

He quickly opened the doors before he could think further, and exhaled. Nothing weird, just neatly hung clothes and a few boxes, with a blanket on top! He took it down and wrapped it carefully around Sarah. He'd have to wait for her to wake up so he could tell her what had happened, so he pulled the desk chair to the bed and sat down.

Minutes went by and his eyes seemed to be pulled towards the closet. He hadn't shut the doors, so he could still see the neatly stacked boxes; powerful curiosity pulled him towards the closet, his hand just about to close around the handles when he stopped. He wasn't a sneaky person, if she wanted to show him, then she would.

He was just about to close the closet doors, when the door to the room burst open and Frau and Tao were standing there, Frau took one look at Castor, and then at the open closet. With one powerful push, he threw Tao out of the room, only saying, "Out! Wait here!" before slamming the door shut.

He was still looking wildly from Castor the closet. "Hey, you didn't, -" but that exact instant Castor dived back for the closet, wrenched it open, and tried to grab a box down. Frau had realized instantly what Castor was doing, and flung himself at him, tackling Castor to the ground. Castor didn't need to be brilliant to know that Frau didn't want Castor to know what was in the boxes.

But it was too late, he had gotten a finger around the box and it went tumbling out with them. The room was suddenly filled with paper floating to the ground. Still on the ground, both of the men flailed around trying to get the papers, Frau swearing the entire time, and trying to incapacitate Castor, while the other yelled "What are they!" over and over.

Castor won because of a quick jab to the back of Frau's head, the Bishop was stunned long enough for Castor to scoop the remaining papers up, and back up against the wall, breathing deeply and straightened his glasses.

"What are they? What don't you want me to know? WHAT ARE YOU TWO HIDDING FROM ME?" His eyes flashed towards the bed where Sarah was lying. But she wasn't still anymore. She was sitting straight up in bed, her eyes huge, mouth wide open, staring straight at the papers that Castor was holding,

"Oh my god, Frau…" her eyes darted to the ground where Frau was kneeling, and then back up, "Castor, please, no. That box, you don't understand, I don't want you to see, it's not the right time, you won't understand! It's awful, that box –" words seemed to fail her, but the shock was wearing off, and she could feel her confused thoughts straightening out.

Castor went over to her, and placed the box next to her. "Then tell me, why can't you tell me everything? I know who you are, even if you did something horrible, I won't judge you, I'm so far in that I _can't _judge you! Everything you did, I'll accept it, and I'll accept you!"

Sarah's eyes were huge, was he confessing? And suddenly he wrapped his long arms around her, she could smell his sweat, and the shampoo he used, she knew she'd never be able to live without those smells, or without the comforting size of his shoulders, they were more like home than anything she had ever known, even more than when she was with Frau.

So she clung to him, "I- I know," she whispered into his shoulder, "I can tell you everything, _we _can tell you everything." And looking past Castor's shoulder, she looked straight at Frau. This was going to take some time...


	12. Chapter 12 - the back story part 2

**I'm trying to not even think about how long it's been since I've written a chapter for this story… **

**Don't look too harshly at the spelling, i'm going to go back over it and make sure its right... also (i feel this should be mentioned) overlay your own colors and scenes on the story, let your imagination run wild when you make the landscapes with these characters in it!**

**P.S. I have a ridiculously vivid image when i write all this, but i really don't want to jam it down your throats. REVIEW and let me know if its working, if not I can definitely go further in descriptive detail (reviews are the best way you can communicate to me that i should continue to write!)**

* * *

**Chapt 12**

Neither Frau nor Sarah wanted an outsider like Tao to hear her story so Frau escorted him across the grounds and to the bridge.

Tao had wanted to say goodbye, but after glancing into her room, he knew she wouldn't have even heard him. She was leaning against the headboard of the bed, while Castor had pulled up the hard-backed desk chair to sit beside her. Neither was touching the other, but were staring with such intensity Tao cringed away and silently followed Frau.

On the walk, Frau told him exactly what had happened with the kor; to Tao it was like recalling a vivid dream, one that was slowly fading. When Frau was done, Tao had only grasped a bit of what he said,

"So can I be possessed again?" he asked sullenly down the walkway, his hands clenched, still thinking back to Sarah being so close to Castor.

"You should be ok, I'm not sure how Sarah's powers truly work, but from past experience, none of the people she healed were ever infected again, so it may work as a type of baptism, which will give you a seal of protection." Nobody had asked Tao why he had initially made a deal with the kor… but whatever the reason hopefully he was wiser.

They had just reached the bridge, and Tao turned to Frau without looking him in the eye; his fists were clenched tighter than before, his knuckles a bright red

"Are bishops even allowed to have relationships with students? Aren't there rules to protect the students from being taken advantage of!?" He had yelled the last part at Frau, he didn't know where his fury was coming from… only that it was there.

Frau looked him in the eye,

"Sarah is of age, if she were a young girl this would be different. But she and Castor are adults. It is true that technically bishops should give themselves fully to God and only God, and relationships are seen as undesirable…"

"Then why would he go against that! He must not be a true believer if –"

Frau placed a hand on Tao's shoulder, stopping him mid-sentence, "No, Castor is a true bishop. He has proved that, and there is nothing that would waver that faith. If the church did find out he was having a relationship with a student, there would be an invstigation into his conduct. But of course, that is only IF they find out." The glint in Frau's eye was unmistakably a warning.

* * *

"Also, this relationship shows just how much they have changed. For Sarah to finally share someone else's feelings has never happened before. And even Castor, he has never expressed interest in women. And here they both are falling for each other! Castor has always preferred his dolls and Sarah only ever used men to gain something. They are opening each other to new experiences that will only bring them happiness and fulfillment," Frau finished as he turned and started to walk back towards the church.

Sarah sat across from Castor, how had she never seen the colours of his eyes before? They seemed to change with the slightest thought

She brushed a hand across his face. She didn't think she would be able to use more than a whisper so she leaned closer to him, "Castor, I understand that you want to know more about me, but there are things that I need to know about you too. You've barely told me anything about your past, and what was Frau talking about when he said 'Ghosts?"

He bowed his head, she was right. How did he expect her to share her secrets if he was unwilling to share his? Was it even possible for him to tell her? They had been sworn to secrecy long ago and binded with ancient magic no longer remembered. Then again, a Ghost also wasn't supposed to be able to fall in love, or have feelings past those necessary to be a bishop, especially sexual ones…

"I won't be able to tell you about that now, but another day I might be able to show you," he looked deep into her eyes, Sarah had to catch her breath, looking into those eyes, were they brown? Red? They emanated power and desire, desire for her. She trusted him. Shit she totally trusted him.

"How did this happen? How did **_we_** happen Castor? I feel as though a carousel is whipping me around and around and I have no control over it. I barely know you: where you're from, what you've done, and yet I can't imagine my world without you!" She frowned while looking into his eyes,

"I have wondered whether you have cast some magic over me that I was unaware of, but it must have been an amazing spell because I would never wish it to fade, and can also sense no trail of it being cast."

Castors eyes lowered as he leaned closer to her, intertwining his fingers with hers on the mattress. "There has been no spell cast on my part, but if some third party were doing this, then I have been infected too. I did not even know I was able to feel this way… to love, anybody. But I don't think it is magic for I have never been susceptible to being charmed, so rest assured that you're feelings are not being controlled or hindered, or at least mine aren't. They are there because of you, and nobody else."

Without hesitating, Sarah leaned forward, their fingers still intertwined on the bed. She was so close to him, could see his eyes delicately close.

She had meant for it to be a light kiss, before crushing her mouth to his. A light moan escaped, but was cut off as Castor put both hands on either side of her head and easily sung his body so it was suspended above hers, his legs now on either side, their lips never breaking.

He had never experienced such passion before, her limbs were locked tight around him, and he could seem to get close enough to her. He pulled his mouth away from hers to lightly bite her exposed neck -

And as if on cue, it was in this compromising position that Frau walked through the door. It took Castor and Sarah a few seconds to realize they were not alone, which was plenty of time for Frau to see Castors teeth against her neck and Sarah's reddened lips and dilated pupils.

Castor and Frau's eyes locked, while Sarah's fastened on Frau's face. With a chill that made the stone walls shiver, Frau whispered, "I'll wait outside," and swept through the door and shut it with a snap.

Neither moved, neither breathed as they stared at the closed door. There was a twitch in Castors jaw before he slowly raised himself off the mattress and swung his legs off the side of the bed. With his back to her, he adjusted his robes, and with some shame realized he was still in the robes he wore to mass. "Castor," he felt her warm hand on his shoulder; he reached up and gently squeezed her fingers before standing up and heading to the door. Sarah also fixed her clothes and hair as best as she could, sitting up on the edge of the bed.

When Castor opened the door Frau was standing right in front of it, staring into the room. Staring directly at Sarah he didn't break eye contact until he was directly in front of her.

He just looked down at her for what seemed a millennium, Sarah could read almost all of the thoughts run across his face, he really hadn't changed much since they were kids. She saw him fight against the knowledge she had chosen Castor, that she didn't want him as a lover, but still wanting it to be him. And finally the acceptance. He turned away from her, walked towards the closet and opened its doors. Slowly he started removing the boxes lined neatly on the top shelf and placed them on the bed. Sarah made a sound of protest, but relented with one glance from Frau. She was so used to hiding her past; it would take a while before she broke that habit.

Frau took the loose papers from the bed and put them in the box Castor had grabbed before. Castor resumed his place at the chair beside the bed, and Frau stood at the end of it, hand on one of the bed knobs.

"We're really going to re-live this then?" Frau said and shot a dark glance at Castor who was hovering between the bed and window.

"Shut up Frau. Castor," but she gave him a worried glance, her eyes suddenly large with fear.

"Before I say anything, Castor, you -"

"I promise to you, that I won't tell anyone else Sarah, you do not need to ask me" Castor said and returned her smile, he never had any intention of telling another soul.

Sarah didn't really know where to start, would it be when all of the street kids were killed? Or when she was captured, or maybe…

"Why not start at the beginning? With your mother?" Frau coaxed her lightly. She looked straight into his eyes; she knew that hers had started to dampen at the thought.

"Yes, ok." Her voice cracked, "I think that would be good." Getting better, even if she was talking softer than normal.

"I met Frau after I killed my mother." Frau's face tightened for an instant, Castors eyes widened in surprise; well, she had never been known for her tact…

* * *

6 years old, Sarah cowered against the far side of the rat infested one bedroom apartment.

"Mom?!" She cried, but it wasn't her mother. Her eyes weren't the same, and she moved without the pain that had been contorting her body not 5 minutes ago.

"I'm going to die," Sarah realized as though being struck with lightning. Her young brain was gripped in fear, but also a calm realization. There was nothing else she could do, she could see her mother losing even more control; see the bony wings starting to erupt from between her shoulder blades, the saliva dripping from her gaping mouth.

Sarah had started going to church when her mother had first fallen ill, and the prayers came easily to her now, all the prayers and songs she could remember came tumbling out of her like a waterfall,

"I love you mom."

And she started to shiver, but not of cold. On the contrary she could feel the temperature rising like she was basking in a streak of sunlight. Suddenly her mother halted about 5 feet from her, mouth grotesquely slack, greying brown hair falling into her face. The room was growing brighter, despite the darkness outside, and looking at her hands, Sarah saw that an eerie glow was coming from them. But there was no time to dwell on this anomaly, as right then her mother lunged at her. Instinctively Sarah threw up her hands, and simultaneously bright golden threads flew from her splayed fingers; they landed delicately on her mother, stopping her in her tracts with their unbearable weight.

Sarah's eyes were as round as globes as she looked at the light, she didn't know about kor, or healing… So she focused on the light, it was so beautiful it must be good right? But why were they pressing down on her mother so much? Sarah could see where they were cutting in so deeply the circulation was being cut off, and more of them were landing on her back, her head, driving her face into the floor.

Her mother's body was almost covered, making her appear like the sun, when one last delicate golden strand floated down from Sarah's hand, like a feather dropped in a still room, and landed on her mother's back. The cracking sound was almost immediately followed by a scream, her mother's scream mixed with Sarah's. She wanted it to stop, the threads weren't nice, they were horrible and crushing her mother to death!

She watched as her mother's mouth opened inhumanly wide, and blood slowly dripped out of her nose. Not only was her spine broken, but there were scratches all over her body, whether because of the threads, or because she had scratched herself so hard trying to get them off was hard to tell. Her eyes were still open, and were also dripping blood as her organs were crushed.

Eventually there was no more sound out of either their mouths. Sarah barely noticed the kor float out of her mother's body and turn to dust; she was too focused on the blood soaking her jeans.

Slowly, very slowly, her senses started to come back, and she was dimly aware of voices yelling and police sirens from the street below. Why hadn't she just gotten help from an adult? She had murdered her mom, and there was no way she was going to an orphanage, what if they tried to charge her? Could they do that if she was so young?

There was no way she could hide… the room only had three pieces of furniture: a bed, a desk, and a chair.

Even with the shock of her mother lying dead on the floor, Sarah used all of her strength to run to the other side of the room, grab the chair and place it under the one air duct, she had always been good at escaping. This was her only way out, she needed to get out! Sarah realized she was starting to hyperventilate and lose control. She stopped and breathed deeply. She had only been able to unscrew two screws! Her small fingers worked at the last of the rusted screws, and felt the third one fall out. She could hear police thundering up the stairs, heard a man yelling to kick the door in. They were so close! Her fingers worked faster, now she was tugging on the corner of the dangling vent, trying to rip the last screw out. With an echoing crash the vent fell, and Sarah clambered noisily in, not even having enough time for a last glance at her mother before the door to their apartment was kicked clean off its hinges.

Sarah had never moved so fast in her entire life, she zigzagged through the system of vents for what seemed eternity. Had the police heard the crash of the vent in the stairs? If they had, they would surely be looking for her.

Finally she found a pathway that slopped downwards steeply. At the end was another duct going into a dark room below with no sound; a quick peek showed it to be the kitchen. She wasn't sure if the cops would be there, but she needed to get out of the ducts. This time very carefully she unscrewed the bolts, and quietly lowered herself. There weren't any cops around. At lightning speed she was out the door and running.

And so she became a street kid. That first night she didn't sleep, and only when the sun was highest in the sky the next day did she allow herself to cry herself to sleep in the darkest corner she could find. When she woke up, she was alone and cold.

She looked awful; she was covered in dried blood, with dusty hair and face from crawling through the vents. She looked like a murderer.

* * *

Sarah looked from Castor to Frau. Casters mouth was pressed into a line, his eyes seemed to darken as the story progressed, never leaving Sarah's face. Frau wasn't looking at Sarah, instead faced the wall, his eyes closed shut.

"And this is when I met Frau…" She stopped talking and glanced up at Frau; her eyes were bright from crying, but no more tears came. Frau turned around when he heard his name, and leaned against the wall.

Nodding slowly, he began, "I found her in the corner covered in blood… she looked like she was on the verge of a nervous collapse, so I took her to my home."

"That 'home' was a dump," Sarah interjected with some humor,

Frau grinned and continued, "My home was an abandoned warehouse where street kids squatted. When I introduced her to the gang, they didn't trust her. Soaked in blood, they thought that the police or someone else might be after her. She didn't talk for a few weeks, so the kids mostly ignored her. But they started to notice that she was able to steal the most, without ever getting caught, so they mostly left her alone,"

"There was one time that a kid was beating on a younger boy, and trying to bully him out of his blanket. I was walking towards the boy to see if I could help, when Sarah rushed by me and punched the older boy straight across the face. At least a foot taller, she had to jump a bit to reach, but that punch was enough to break his nose and lay him flat on his back." Frau's spine cracked as he stretched his back,

"And the entire time, she screamed at him. No one had heard her speak, and suddenly, this little pip-squeak is in a flying rage screaming curse words I wouldn't have even been able to dream of. Nobody really messed with her after that, I guess you could say they accepted her as one of us… or at least feared her a bit. I even saw the older boy blush when he gave her a piece of his bread once. Always making friends." He glanced over at Sarah and a small smile was on her face as she listened. "For some reason, her presence made us act like a family, instead of being suspicious of each other, and trying to always have the upper hand we helped one another."

"A few months later Sarah and I were doing the daily food run, hitting the usual places down the back alleyways. We walked by the pub and overheard 2 government workers talking about a raid. We ducked behind the nearest bins and listened as they discussed a raid that was currently happening to a warehouse. It didn't take long to realize they were talking about our home. We ran back as fast as we could, but it wasn't quick enough. The government had already been there. Everyone that was inside was killed, either because they fought, or got caught in the blaze. All me and Sarah could do was stand and watch. Unfortunately, a couple of officers saw us through the smoke. Sarah grabbed me and pulled me away, it was all I could do to keep up with her, I was in shock. I didn't even notice the men chasing us. We rushed into a building a few blocks over. Sarah led the way up countless stairs, it seemed forever until she let go of my hand."

"Sarah had taken me to the apartment that she and her mother had lived in, the same apartment she had run away from. The officers were so close, and I was sure that we were goners; but instead of giving up, Sarah pulled a stool to the far side of the room and began hoisting herself up into the ventilation, the vent was still lying on the floor, all these months later."

"I found out later that the police never even knew Sarah's mom had a daughter, or any family. They never even found out her mother's name since she didn't have any identification. Nobody was even supposed to be living in that building.

So I could hear the officers running up the stairs, they were so close, I pushed Sarah up through the vent and then kicked the stool away from it so it went crashing against the window, breaking it into pieces. I heard the men yelling in the stairs, and suddenly they barrelled through the door into the room. They took one look at the window, maybe thinking that I was trying to jump, they didn't even notice the open vent in the corner. They grabbed me, and dragged me outside. I went quietly though. I needed to stay alive to make sure I saw her again. But then they set the building on fire, just like they had done to the warehouse so that no one could live there again.

"And so I went to the church because I had been compliant with them, thinking that Sarah had died. And Sarah somehow survived."


	13. Chapter 13 said the past

**CHAPTER 13**

PM and review; I'm curious how you guys like this story. Also, this one seems a bit shorter, but I've already written chapter 14, just editing

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Frau turned to Sarah, the rest of the story was hers to tell. Still leaning against the wall, Sarah sighed

"I heard the officers apprehend Frau; I remember crying as I crawled all the way to the roof through the vents. My knees and elbows were completely torn, but I made it. I could smell that the building was on fire, and I could see them taking you away. There were old cables running from the building to the next, and I was just light enough that when I crawled across it, they didn't snap.

``I sat on that roof for hours just staring at the blaze in the building we had just been in, unable to move. When I was finally calm, I went back to the warehouse. I didn't have any possessions to look for, but I had to see what was left. It was almost completely gone; the only thing remaining was a few sheets of scorched metal. There was no one around, no kids, no officers. I had nowhere else to go; the only two homes I had ever known were burnt to the ground in a matter of hours."

"It was so lonely… Frau had been taken away, all my friends were dead, and I was covered in ash. I couldn't take a chance walking around the streets like that, so when it was dark enough I broke into an old woman's house that had always been nice to me when I begged for food; all the lights were off so I assumed she had gone to bed early. But unfortunately, she came through the backdoor just as I was washing the last of the soot from my hair. She beat me pretty good until she recognised me. After that, I don't know if she was trying to make up for hitting me, or if she really liked me… but she cleaned and fed me, and let me stay in her house. Her name was Nit, and I think she would have let me stay there indefinitely. But it only took a few days until I became anxious. ``

``I was not her blood relative, and couldn't give her anything for rent or food. I could never pay her back for the hospitality that she showed me, but I didn't want to burden her any longer. So I left to go back onto the streets. I didn't tell Nit, but she knew. I left during the day, and just didn't come back. By that time, the subjugation of street kids was slowing down and it was relatively safe to live on the streets again.``

"So it was almost a year after my time with Nit, and I was firmly back in my niche on the streets. I was sleeping in an alley when I felt someone very close to me… I almost broke Frau`s knees when I attacked him in the dark." Sarah gave him a small smile, she was no longer crying. She turned and looking Castor straight in the eyes. He could barely stand how little emotion she said her story with. He knew this was happening to street kids even now; he pressed his fingernails into his palm, leaving half-moons in the flesh. He was sure that there were stories that she would never tell him, that this was just the basic overview of key events. His heart almost exploded in pride and sadness that she had made it out or that hell with her own heart intact. Castor would die again if it could take all that away from her.

"When I recognised him, I couldn't believe it! How had he gotten out? I expected that the church would never let him outside again, that he was chained to a wall. He looked tired, but other than that was healthier than when he had been on the streets. We sat on the cold stone for hours, just holding each other while I asked questions; he told me about his nightmares, of how he didn't know if I had survived and had broken out almost every night searching for me, that he was pretty sure a Bishop was trying to train him to be a future bishop, and how I could go back with him. I didn't tell him about nearly starving, or how I had watched a girl my age get shot for stealing from a garbage bin; it didn't seem important know that he was with me. But I did tell him about Nit, her kindness, how I could never repay it. But could I really go to the Church? I never saw women there except as nuns. He told me that a nun is better than living on cardboard. I had to agree, my living situation was a bit dire indeed. "

"So we decided! I would go with him that night to the Church and try to get an apprenticeship there. I was so happy, I told Frau Id meet him in front of the church in the morning; I had made new friends, and couldn't just disappear on them. I also wanted to go see Nit, I had seen her from time to time across crowded streets, but had never said hello, even though I knew she had seen me too."

"I went to Nit's house; she acted as though I had never left. And I told her my goal, I'd never seen her so happy! But I only had enough time for one cup of tea, since I was to meet Frau soon.``

...When I went outside her door, it was to find a row of about 5 offices waiting outside. They had come to arrest her for not paying tax or something like that, and seeing a street kid come out definitely didn't help her case. 4 of the men charged in and grabbed her; one grabbed my arm, but instantly released it when I crushed his toes with my foot." Frau and Castor watched as Sarah flexed her long fingers in agitation, her teeth now clenched "I attacked the men holding Nit, she was screaming to get out, but I couldn't! Not Nit! I took out them one by one. One man rushed me, but using his momentum, I kicked his feet out from under him. His body dropped and I smashing his head into the floor, another fell crying when I pulverized his kidneys with my fist. But I was so small, and too weak. When there was only one man standing, I couldn't even raise my arms I was so tired.

He took out his gun, and directed it at my head. I didn't even have enough strength to lunge at him, Nit was in the corner, her skinny arms wrapped around her knees, I have never seen her look so frightened… and her I was about to be shot in front of her… but that didn't seem to be my fate. The man who I had first attacked stood up, and told the other officer to lower his weapon. He personally cuffed my hands, Nit started to scream and cry at this, begged them to let me go, but they ignored her and marched me out onto the street. And I was officially the governments prisoner.``


	14. Chapter 14 - reasons explained

Here we go again! I hope everyone is still enjoying this

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I never got to meet Frau. The officers help me in a prison cell for 2 days before dragging me through one of their government buildings. I was forced into a brightly lit room with stark white walls. About 7 men were sitting around a large white table waiting for me. It only took me a few seconds to realize that this meeting would decide my fate; whether I would be shipping to an orphanage or kept as a battle soldier.

2 of the men argued that I should be put into an orphanage, then they would have to worry about any expenses, or anything like that. I could see a few of the other men nodding, starting to agree with them. But it was the man who had cuffed me outside nits house that made the final decision. He said that I was too valuable; all of his men were seasoned fighter, they trained with the best and he was not going to be ignorant of the fact I was able to disarm all of them without any weapon. Many of the men weren't happy about this, I was really young, but they also saw the potential in it. I had shown promise, and that is what they initially looked for.

One man asked, "but do you think she'll ever be able to kill for us?" and to that the commanding man just smiled, and said "Have we ever trained one that didn't?" I didn't really understand what they meant by that, there was no way I was ever going to kill anyone, especially not for my captors. That would be sickening!

I was thrown into a single cell without any roommates. The cells were about 3 arms spans wide and 5 arms spans long, solid stone with glass doors so that the guards could always look in. A baggy grey sweatshirt and pants were waiting on the bed for me, and black sneakers were lying neatly beside them. Before I feel asleep, I remember thinking about Frau, and where he was at that moment.

The next day I was shown around, they called it a 'fitness centre.' We went through a few narrow tunnels before we came out into a dazzlingly bright open space. There were rows upon rows of windows, which illuminated the huge gym floor in front of me. A few people were sparing, a lot were doing their own individual routines, whether it was running around the gym or lifting weights.

But there was no noise.

Nobody talked to each other, nobody grunted with effort, nobody yelled, the guards barely moved. The only sound was the creaks from the punching bag when a fist made contact, flesh hitting flesh from sparing, and the slap of running shoes on cement.

My sense went into overdrive. I saw that some of the people were wearing collars around their neck, or bracelets on their feet. Almost everyone's eyes were dilated, and barely blinked. I could smell everything, the sweat from the many bodies, the leather of the gloves; I could almost smell the drugs that were pumping through these prisoners veins.

The guard that had led me from my cell threw a pair of boxing gloves at my feet, and then just stared at me until I had picked them up. When I sighed it seemed to echo throughout the entire room. A man who had just run in front of me turned his head to find the source of the sound, and in an instant he was writhing on the ground in agony, clutching at the circle around his neck. And just as fast as it happened, it stopped. He was getting back up on shaky legs, no longer daring to look anywhere but ahead, and kept running.

With wide eyes I stared after him, before turning, ready to flee. What was this place!? I needed to get out of there before they -

*click* and with that sound I felt a pressure around my neck as the guard snapped a ring around my neck. It was with that click that I knew my fate had been decided. I could not run away, I would just be electrocuted, just as the runner had been. Maybe I could kill myself by stimulating enough shocks?

It was here that I realized I was not suicidal… I could not take my life, and I stood stock still, my eyes not even moving left or right, my spine completed rigid.

The guard standing behind me was suddenly walking ahead of me, and motioned for me to follow. I took one practice step, and once I knew I wouldn't be shocked I followed. He led me to the far side where people were sparing. When I got closer I realized it wasn't really sparing at all, these people were full out fighting to the death. We stood by just watching them, there were no rules that I could see, they were able to use any means necessary to land a punch anywhere on their opponents body.

It was only after I watched as one of the men fell in a puddle of his blood and was dragged from the mat that the guard motioned that I was to take his place.

The man I was to fight against was made of solid steel muscles; he was large, but still fast. I had been in my fair share of scuffles, but mostly I survived on the streets because of my smallness and speed, not because of any skills. He did not blink when a girl that came up to his waist stepped into the ring. At this point, I think I was around 7 and a half, almost 8.

Without any warning, or whistle, the man lunged at me. I was able to dodge around him just in time, but with a swipe of his arm, he caught me in the back and I flew out of the ring and into a table on the other side of the room. My arm was bleeding freely from where it scraped against the table, but when I got up I realized that I was in front of the table with weapons.

Before the guard even knew what I was doing, I picked up one of the guns and aimed it at the man. He was still barreling towards me, but I couldn't find any trigger, or lever to pull! He was so close, I could see right into his eyes. It was at this point I realized this man did not have a collar around his neck… he wasn't being controlled! He was smiling as he came charging at me, his fists raised in a blow that would knock my face right in. He was enjoying this! He liked fighting, liked killing. I had never felt as angry as I did right then, I wanted to be the one to dash his smile off and see him cringe in the fear I felt. I wanted to win.

Without warning, the gun vibrated so hard I had to grip it even harder to hold it steadily aimed at him, it was with this increase of pressure as I grasped it that a sudden red light swelled from its barrel. The man's face stopped grinned at once, but it was too late. A ball of red emerged from the gun and went shooting towards him faster than I could follow. The power of it sent him flying back on the gym mats, head first into a set of dumbbells. The sound of his skull cracking in two could be heard throughout the gym.

But still nobody said a word. Nobody had stopped doing their laps, or weights. It was so surreal… I couldn't handle it, I had just killed a man, and nobody cared… I was holding a weapon of mass destruction and nobody cared… If I could use this weapon on the guards, I might be able to get out! I swung around, aiming at anyone in a uniform - and with that thought, the most painful electric current went ripping through my body, the pain was so intense black spots started to swim in front of my eyes, and I blacked out right in the training centre.

When I woke up, the commander who had sentenced me to this dreadful place was sitting in front of me. I was beginning to understand that this guy was pretty influential… I was back in my cell; the collar was still firmly around my neck.

"I heard you made quite the commotion in training today" he said looking down at me.

The way he had spoken was almost kind, but his eyes looked like lead, no emotion, just grey pools.

"a commotion can't happen if nobody acknowledges it" was the only thing I could think to say. I wanted to be clever and witty to this man, when really I shouldn't have spoken at all.

"oh, but people did acknowledge it. People that matter did anyways. The rats you saw are well-trained to ignore anything around them, so it is normal that they would not be fazed by such a normal thing as death."

I felt the colour drain from my face, and I heard myself screaming "But why are they rats?! Why would they follow your rules if you have guns just waiting in the open? Waiting to be stolen at anytime?"

"do you honestly think that we would unknowingly allow you to have a weapon?"

"but, but I picked up the gun! I killed a man…" I was unable to hide the shock in my voice as I said it out loud.

"I let you pick up the gun. The councillors and I were watching you fight from the beginning. Although the other members wanted to halt you before you reached for a weapon, I wanted to see what would happen. And, to be honest, I thought there was no way in hell you would be able to activated one."

He stroked his chin slowly, and turned to look back down at my face, "this was your first time using a zaiphon charged weapon, wasn't it?"

I leaned forward, suddenly eager to hear about the mysterious gun I had used, "what's zaiphon?" My hands bunched some of the blanket between my fingers… was that the power I had felt? Zaiphon?


	15. Chapter 15

2 chapters in 1 day... ill see if i can keep this speed going! (I apologize for any spelling, i am writing these really fast and mostly focusing on plot)

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Still in the prison cell, this man studied me for what seemed an eternity, his chin now resting in his hands, those dark grey eyes never leaving my face. He seemed to accept that I was not playing coy, and replied, "Zaiphon, it is an energy that can be focused into a weapon to kill. Later today you will have a class with me, and you will be taught how to master it."

Being so young, I did not realize that this 'zaiphon' he mentioned was a learned skill, I assumed everyone could do it. I did not understand that it did not come naturally to most people, or that it was difficult for even adults to master it. I was special. And they knew it.

For months I was fed a steady diet of supplements and vitamins. At first I was just like any other young battle soldier (sklave)… for about a year I was kept in the training facility, where I was forced to learn techniques for hours at a time. With the supplements also came pills designed to control my moods, thoughts, and actions. My emotions were completely neutral from my surroundings.

I remember a time where someone was beaten to death in front of me, and even as their blood covered my face I did not flinch away. They trained me heavily in weapons combat. I came to call the man who brought me here as 'sergeant,' and he was my main teacher. I was still very small, so I was not usually involved with the hand-to-hand combat, but I quickly mastered advanced self-defence techniques, as well as quick escape tactics. After the year was up, I was sent on my first mission. Honestly, I barely remember it, now it's like I'm remembering a dream that I almost forgot… the effects of the pills I was being forced to take I assume. All I remember is walking into a store where an old man was selling liquor from a stool. And the next thing I remember clearly is that there was blood all over and I was holding a gun that was still warm.

I was a success.

- Castor watched Sarah, he saw her eyes darkened, and her head drop into her hands. Cradling her face, she whispered, "I was so successful…"

Frau had also closed his eyes, his head leaning against the far wall.

Castor could only stare at her. The horror was too real; that Sarah had gone through that, and was still a whole person was unbelievable…

With a shuddering intake of air, Sarah leaned her head back until it rested against the headboard. Her eyes still closed, she continued,

"And so I was continually given more and more difficult assignments, mostly where my age could be an advantage because they wouldn't think I was a threat. I was sent out to some of the army's wars, but not very many since I needed a constant supply of drugs or else I would gain my sense of self and become uncontrollable. I think that was something that always annoyed them; they would try and wean me off the control drugs, and I would instantly try to escape, or kill everyone near me. Maybe they thought I would get addicted to killing, maybe hoping that I would break enough to enjoy being their killing puppet…

The first time it happened was when I was 12, and had just begun puberty. They had altered my drug dose, but had made it too weak. I gained self-awareness after taking the new prescription for about a week. It was horrifying, I had looked into a mirror and started screaming, crying, I went completely insane. I was older, taller, and leaner. No more baby fat, all lean muscle. And I had missed this transformation because of the drugs. Remembering my thoughts and feelings was like trying to catch smoke in my hands… the more I tried to remember, the faster they slipped away. While I was going ballistic the medical doctors injected me with a sleep serum, and when I woke up, I was again the zombie they had made. I remembered going ballistic, but it didn't matter because they didn't want it to matter to me. When I turned 16, this is when it got more difficult, even heavily drugged, my mind was revolted by what my body was making me do.

One time on a mission, I had infiltrated some sort of underground fetish club, where the girls are kept in cellars and then men pay to stay in the cellar with them. All the girls have some sort of signature… whether it is ropes, or leather… from my memories, mine was knives. A lot of high up business men visited these places, and a lot of them enjoyed my expertise. About 3 times a week, a government member would discreetly slide a picture under my door, and it was expected that I would eliminate them. I did so without thought. Once they came into my cell, I had all the knives I wanted to make their deaths as painless of painful as the government wanted me to.

Again, Sarah's eyes darkened, she was remembering running blades delicately along a man's back, his moans pitiful as blood seeped from the wounds.

"Sometimes, I can't help but be thankful that most memories are so fuzzy… if they were in focus, I don't think I'd be able to live with myself, seeing my hands reach for the final kill, or see myself inflicting so much pain on another human,

It went on, for so long… so long and I couldn't do anything, there were so many people, how, should I - … could I have done anything? These questions still haunt me today, they haunt me every waking moment that I breathe…"

Frau had never seen Sarah so overcome with emotions. She broke down so completely that she curled into a ball under her covers her head hidden by the blanket; he could hear her sobs and see her body shaking trying to control them… He glanced at Castor, but he seemed at a loss for what to do… nothing he could do would ever comfort her…

"Frau, we should stop for the day… this has been so difficult for her, for me, I think maybe it was too much."

"Yes, I think that's probably for the best..." Frau looked deep into Castors eyes; had he be unprepared for the atrocities that Sarah had committed? Castor was the first to look away, and stared at the bed sheets that hid Sarah's body, his dark hair falling into his face, covering any emotion the Frau could see. Frau headed towards Sarah and put his hand on her head, "it's ok now Sarah, you're safe here."

Sarah's sobs were unbroken. With painful eyes Frau looked at Castor and headed for the door. When he opened the door he realized Castor had not followed him, and had remained sitting on the chair beside Sarah.

"Will you be staying here?" Frau asked, he really couldn't even be jealous of Castor; he wanted him to be happy.

"Yes, I'll try and join you later tonight."

"Of course,"

And slowly Frau shut the door behind him, and headed quickly away from the room.


	16. Chapter 16

Woohooo, 3 chapters in 1 day! also, im thinking of writing an M story about Sarah and Castor, tell me what you guys think

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Once the door had clicked shut behind Frau, Castor slowly climbed into the bed beside Sarah, who was still shaking under the sheets.

Without removing the barrier between them, he wrapped his arms around her whole body and drew her to him. Putting his face where her neck would be he breathed in deeply and exhaled. Her body had stopped shaking, and was now absolutely still.

They stayed like that for a minute more, Castor settled his body around hers, which was still bent into an awkward fetal position.

"Relax." He spoke so softly into her ear, "relax," He whispered again, feeling her body slowly yield.

After what seemed an age she was finally straightened out, her back still to him, his arms still around her, holding her close.

"Castor… " why couldn't she think of anything else to say? No words were enough to describe the pain she felt for her past, the humiliation and anger, the sadness. Did he understand that? He didn't seem to be repulsed by her,

She felt a pressure on the back of her neck and Castor leaned his head against her…. Surely he wouldn't still be laying this close to her if he thought her a monster? He hadn't run from the room, condemning her that she would never be pure…

He was still here. Sarah could feel herself relaxing, her muscles started to loosen in Castors arms.

Still under the blanket, Sarah turned to face him and buried her hidden face into her chest. She felt his arms tighten around her.

Oh god, it had been so long since anyone had held her for real, without any hidden motives or reasons. It felt nice to have this warmth so close to her, to feel the pressure of his body.

All of her muscles relaxed at once, and she sagged even further into his grasp, her breathe going out in one long warm sigh.

She felt one of Castors hands loosen its hold on her, and the sheet was dragged from around her head.

Castor had felt her calm down in his arms, felt the warmth of her breath as it was released into his chest.

He slowly withdrew the sheet from around her face, not wanting to startle her.

The expression on her face was so startling. It was like seeing a puppy that had finally been let out of its cage and given kindness. Her eyes were huge, irises dilating with the sudden brightness. Even as he removed the sheet they were already turned upwards to his face, never blinking they immediately found his eyes.

His heart had never ached as much as it did then, he had never understood the pain she was always holding in check, that she was finally letting him see. And he realized, she was trusting him to be the one person that didn't hurt her, but that she was terrified by her decision to open up to someone.

Her eyes were filling up with tears, and she wrapped her arms around him, leaning her cheek on his chest, just underneath his chin.

He could feel his shirt dampen with her tears, but she did not shake with sobs like before. She had probably never had a chance to cry in all of her years of servitude, this was making up for that lost time.

It was more than an hour until she had cried herself to sleep, but even after that he didn't let go. He breathed in her hair, felt the warmth of her skin through his robes. And finally drifted into a dreamless sleep too.

When Sarah felt herself awakening, she knew that Castor was not in bed with her… there was a chill in the bed she had never noticed before, but now that she was alone she realized it had always been there. Without opening her eyes, she gave a monstrous stretch, she must have slept in the same position all night… she still had her arms tucked into her chest like when she had fallen asleep.

Still not opening her eyes, she flopped over and put her hands up to the baseboard and gave an even mightier stretch, she felt her shoulders pop back into place and her spine cracked. Feeling more relaxed then she could remember, she smiled into the pillow at the thought of Castor holding her, she felt her heart speed up and her face heat up. She blamed in on the heat from her face being in the pillow, but she couldn't help but think of Castors eyes as she smiled.

She had never really dealt with this emotion of pure joy and could feel herself on the edge of mania or hysteria. Catching herself, she finally flopped onto her back and opened her eyes. The room was empty and sunlight was streaming into her window. She glanced towards it, 'the day must be glorious outside, what else could it be when I feel this light and free?' Sarah thought as she went to swing her legs off the bed.

As she lifted her leg, it made contact with something that crashed onto the floor.

Sarah's face went white as a sheet as she leapt off the bed. Boxes. She had kicked the boxes that Frau had placed on her bed the day before. Yesterday's events came back to her right then, she felt the happiness drain away at once as she was dragged roughly back down to reality, the reason why she had needed Castors hug in the first place. And it would all happen again today. But at least she had gotten the worst out of the way… And castor hadn't run away…. That was a good sign… although he wasn't here, so maybe he had left as soon as she had closed her eyes? He was kind, but not stupid. The things she had said… the things she had been unable to say….

Sarah sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the photographs and papers that now littered the floor. She could feel the tears welling up inside her again…. Was she going to cry all the time now that she had let herself do it once?

Her knees came up to her chin and she slowly rolled onto the bed, back into her fetal position. The tears didn't come, but she felt the stomach dropping emptiness she had become used to. Her past was horrible. All those people…. She would never be free… She would never be a bishop, and as for Castor, he was just too nice to rebuff her, after all he was a bishop. Her head buried itself in her arms and knees.

She contracted her body as small as it would go, to the point she wasn't sure if she would ever be able to straighten out.

There was a pounding in her ears, now that she was trying to block it out, she couldn't help but remember. So much blood…. So many screams. Her hands went to cover her ears…

"SARAH!" She heard someone call her name… was that someone pleading with her to spare their life?

"SARAH!" She wouldn't be able to if she tried…

"SARAH!" But then why did it sound so close? The screams sounded different too… not so far away

She felt rough hands shaking her, trying to pull her arms away from her knees. She tried to tell them to stop, that she didn't want her hands to move, but she couldn't talk over the screams… As though being hit with a force, she was aware that she was the one screaming, she cut them off as soon as she realized it, had she been screaming the entire time?

Frau's face was pressed so close to hers, he had finally pried her arms away from her knees, and she realised she had bitten the inside of her arms at some point in her fit… Perfect canines and incisors were indented and bleeding.

"Sarah, what. The. fuck?" He was no longer yelling, he looked more serious than Sarah had seen in a long time.

"No, I'm ok, just … feel asleep…." Even to her, it sounded lame.

"Full of shit." He didn't look away from her. She brought his hands up to her face, they engulfed hers. She put her cheek against it, his skin was so cool.

"Yes." She whispered, "I kicked the box over, oh god Frau, it was awful, I was happy, so happy, and than I saw the boxes, all the contracts fell out, all the lives I took… the despair, was too much…"

Frau leaned her head so that it rested on hers, "why would you despair when you have me here?" He kept his voice light hearted, he didn't want to freak her out by being too serious, but he was so worried about her.

Sighing, he leaned down and started to shuffle the papers back together. This box had been dedicated to the background checks of some of the men she had been assigned to murder; their faces were stapled to the front of each of the files, a red line through them. He could feel Sarah's eyes on the back of his neck, but he silently continued to put them away, trying not to look at the faces.

Finally he stood up, the box cradled in his arms, he set it neatly on the floor

"well then, shall we go grab some breakfast? I'm sure there will still be some toast left"

Even though Sarah wasn't particularly hungry, she took his offered hand and stood up. It had only been about 10 minutes since she had woken up, and yet she was already exhausted from the day.

They were both silent as they walked through the long corridors, light was streaming through them, and should have been a relaxing walk. Unfortunately, both of them were too distracted to notice.

``Frau, I'm happy I've told Castor, but do you ever think that he will ever tell me his story?"

The question caught Frau completely off-guard…. He had thought she was still thinking about her past, not about Castor…

"um, it may not be as simple as just telling you, he may be unable to tell you certain things…" seeing the broken look on Sarah's face (when had she become so emotional?), he quickly added, "but not because he wants to keep anything from you! He has other people he needs to protect, but I'm sure he'll find a way."

Sarah frowned, ``Frau, I don't understand… what on earth could Castor, a bishop, possible have hidden in his closet that is more secretive than mine``

Frau gave her a small smile, "maybe it's not on earth" he gave her an even wider goofy smile,

Sarah gave a small smile, and linked her arm into the crook of his,

"Frau, can you honestly never have a serious conversation"

Frau smiled down at her, but inside his mind was turning…. How could Castor ever tell Sarah his story? Sarah would find out one day that she was crushing on a supernatural being… She needed to know about the man inside the skin. But all of the ghosts were under a vow of silence, even if Castor tried to tell Sarah, he would be physically unable to. And would Sarah be satisfied knowing that Castor was one of the ghosts? What if she wanted to know who the rest of the ghosts were? Castor might expose them all if he wasn't careful… Frau couldn't even picture Sarah's face if she ever found out that he was not really the boy she had known… would she look at them the same if she knew they were soldiers of God?


End file.
